Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Phase 4

Phase 4 is upon us, and it makes me miss the relative bliss of Phase 3.  But it's okay, because I know it's just temporary, and it's nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel (Phase 5 in 3 days!  Phase 6 in 10 days!)  I'm documenting here what I'm feeling, not because I'm complaining (Phase 4 is still light years better than Phase 2), but because I want to remember what being "severely hypothyroid" feels like, in case my meds ever need adjusted, and I can immediately recognize what's going on, without a lot of hullabaloo. 

So, for the human body of middle-aged, pre-menopausal Monica, being "severely hypothyroid" feels like this:

No saliva.  Whatsoever.  Which is weird.  And makes it hard to swallow.  And makes my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth when I sleep.
Blurred vision (had to up the strength of my reading glasses)
Headaches
Puffiness, and huge bags under the eyes/haggard look.  I've gained at least 10 years in the appearance department over the past few weeks.  I look OLD. 
The hands of a 100 year old woman
Muffin top from Hades
The voice of a smoker
Fatigue
Cold.  All. The. Time.
Flatulence.  Sorry.  But true.  Wicked. With associated abdominal cramps and frequent trips to the toilet. 
General malaise/achiness.
Nausesa that wakes me up in the middle of the night
Five o'clock shadow by noon, despite my best efforts.  Ever see that Tim Allen "The Santa Clause"?  I kinda feel like that.

I just got done grocery shopping, and happened to see an acquaintenance of mine at the store.  Not knowing anything about what is going on with my health status, she said "You look like you need to get straight home and crawl back into bed."  Yeah.  I'm looking THAT good these days. 

So far no real depression or irritability, at least that I can tell (my family might tell you differently).  I have a feeling the current lack of stress in my life plays a good part of that.  I'm now legitimately glad that I am off work at the moment, and not having to feel the strain of "doing it all", during this time.  As far as I can tell, I'm not losing any hair or anything either yet, which I know is often a sign.  Just generally feeling kind of bloated and yucky.  So remember this feeling, "future Monica", and recognize that it's time to call the endo for a little adjustment if it should happen to come back!  And for you right now, "Phase 4 Monica"... keep remembering that this too shall pass in a very, very short period of time, and you are ALMOST DONE!!  Hip Hip, HOORAY!!!!

And in case "future Monica" experiences the Zombie Apocalypse, or the collapse of society as we know it... you have AT LEAST a couple of weeks before things catch up to you!!  So stock up on that Synthroid now while you can!

ADDENDUM: ANNNNNNNDDDDDD... at least one or two items on that list above I'm pretty sure have nothing to do with being hypothyroid.  Welcome back, C. diff (NOT).  You've been gone not nearly long enough.  We'll be confirming that with lab results today or tomorrow, but it could NOT have happened at a more inopportune time.  I have a five hour car trip to make in two days' time, during which I'm not allowed to stop in public restrooms.  So.... hmmm.  How's that gonna work?  Feels a little like "Repeat to Phase 2 , then D.S.al coda."



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