I've been trying to pinpoint what it is about the response to this pandemic that bothers me. I've been trying to wrap my brain around it, and balance out what is true vs hype, to define how I want to cope with what is happening in the world. I speak to some who are legitimately concerned about the health threat this virus presents, and I agree... there are truly dangers associated with this virus, for vulnerable populations. I speak to others who feel it's all a "hoax" and a political ploy in an election year, and I know that there is no denying that this "crisis" is being manipulated for political gain, too. But neither of these extremes seem to fit my view, and I feel like TRUTH lies somewhere in the "in between" as well. Defining the edges of this pandemic reality has been a struggle. How bad is it? How at risk are we? What is an appropriate response? It's hard to get a straight answer to these questions, because too many people are too invested in biased answers.
So, this is what I choose for myself and my family: the pandemic is real, and has serious health consequences to some at risk populations. I work with at risk populations in my job, and as such, I need to take precautions to protect the vulnerable. I could never live with myself if I brought something in to the medically fragile children or elders I work with, that caused them harm. So I take precautions, for their sake... not my own. I wear my mask in public places and work, I sanitize frequently, and I avoid large gatherings that may be dangerous. I am careful.
At the same time, I refuse to live in fear. I refuse NOT to live. I refuse to quarantine, and online school, and hide anymore. I will avoid crowds, but I will not avoid loved ones. I refuse to deny my children access to their friends. For months we avoided being around Rob's parents, afraid of bringing in anything that might harm them, and you know what? They got depressed. In their 80's, THEY told us to forget quarantining, because for them, it was more important to see their grandkids. There was a 100% real risk of isolation and depression, and only an unknown, remote risk of infection. They were willing to take the risk of being in our presence, and we ended isolation.
To shame people who want to go on living their lives as normal as possible as "selfish" is blatantly unfair. People take the precautions and risks they feel comfortable with, based on the information they have at the time. In our case, there was a 100% certain risk of isolation, poor educational learning, and decreased income associated with this shut down. Conversely, the risk of contracting the virus in a rural part of the state was initially miniscule. If I don't know of anyone with the virus, and don't see anyone with the virus, and don't trust the media outlets telling me about the virus, but I DO see the suffering of my children, both educationally and socially, and the suffering of my community members financially... THAT is what is real. Reacting to that is not selfish, it is a response based on what my own experience is telling me.
It seems lately that fear has become a moral virtue in our society. What bothers me most about the shut down of masses and the sacraments (which is largely over, although highly modified at the moment, but may come back if things get worse) is that - in the face of what seems like a very real diabolical attack - we Christians retreated in fear. And Christ told us over and over to "be not afraid". Christ conquered death. The martyrs of the early church were not afraid of death. They showed us that our faith was infinitely greater than a fear of death. Yes, we take precautions, as we must to protect the vulnerable. But I REFUSE to live in fear. I. REFUSE. And I will say it. I am TIRED of worshiping with "one hand tied behind my back" - with masks, and distance, and no singing, and no access to the Precious Blood, and Purell on the altar. Not because it's "different". This isn't me whining like a spoiled baby because I'm rigid, and something is altered from my habit. It's because shutting down the church seemed to be a response made in FEAR, and I don't think fear has any part in a Christian life. I don't envy Bishop John, and the decisions he has had to make. I understand his decisions. He is doing his best to responsible, and I completely understand that. But this very much feels like a diabolical attack, this pandemic. It is attacking not only our communities, but the very way we worship the Lord, and that bothers me a whole lot. Because those early martyrs, who were faced with certain death if found to be Christian, did not run and hide. They did not. Because death did not scare them. Christ conquered death, and they lived the fullness of faith without fear.
Maybe that's reckless. I know we can't be reckless. Our priests need protection, too. Everyone is doing the best they can, but I don't have to like it. And I certainly don't want to get USED to it. I don't want this to be the "new normal", or the "way things are" from here on out. I don't want the Precious Blood, the Kiss of Peace, to be forever banished from the mass because of a FEAR OF GERMS. We are one body in Christ. This pandemic is trying to make us afraid of one another. That... is diabolical.
Thank goodness for Monsignor Pope. He wrote the following article, and it says exactly what I'm feeling. God bless him!!
I write this from my perspective as a priest responsible for the care of souls; I do not claim to be a medical expert. My pastoral concern is that we as a nation and as a Church have succumbed to excessive fear, which bespeaks a spiritual problem. The medical concerns arising from the pandemic are not without merit, but they are not unprecedented. What is unique today is the collective paralysis brought on by this fear. I write to express my concern and to reiterate the constant biblical cry, “Do not be afraid!”
So, this is what I choose for myself and my family: the pandemic is real, and has serious health consequences to some at risk populations. I work with at risk populations in my job, and as such, I need to take precautions to protect the vulnerable. I could never live with myself if I brought something in to the medically fragile children or elders I work with, that caused them harm. So I take precautions, for their sake... not my own. I wear my mask in public places and work, I sanitize frequently, and I avoid large gatherings that may be dangerous. I am careful.
At the same time, I refuse to live in fear. I refuse NOT to live. I refuse to quarantine, and online school, and hide anymore. I will avoid crowds, but I will not avoid loved ones. I refuse to deny my children access to their friends. For months we avoided being around Rob's parents, afraid of bringing in anything that might harm them, and you know what? They got depressed. In their 80's, THEY told us to forget quarantining, because for them, it was more important to see their grandkids. There was a 100% real risk of isolation and depression, and only an unknown, remote risk of infection. They were willing to take the risk of being in our presence, and we ended isolation.
To shame people who want to go on living their lives as normal as possible as "selfish" is blatantly unfair. People take the precautions and risks they feel comfortable with, based on the information they have at the time. In our case, there was a 100% certain risk of isolation, poor educational learning, and decreased income associated with this shut down. Conversely, the risk of contracting the virus in a rural part of the state was initially miniscule. If I don't know of anyone with the virus, and don't see anyone with the virus, and don't trust the media outlets telling me about the virus, but I DO see the suffering of my children, both educationally and socially, and the suffering of my community members financially... THAT is what is real. Reacting to that is not selfish, it is a response based on what my own experience is telling me.
It seems lately that fear has become a moral virtue in our society. What bothers me most about the shut down of masses and the sacraments (which is largely over, although highly modified at the moment, but may come back if things get worse) is that - in the face of what seems like a very real diabolical attack - we Christians retreated in fear. And Christ told us over and over to "be not afraid". Christ conquered death. The martyrs of the early church were not afraid of death. They showed us that our faith was infinitely greater than a fear of death. Yes, we take precautions, as we must to protect the vulnerable. But I REFUSE to live in fear. I. REFUSE. And I will say it. I am TIRED of worshiping with "one hand tied behind my back" - with masks, and distance, and no singing, and no access to the Precious Blood, and Purell on the altar. Not because it's "different". This isn't me whining like a spoiled baby because I'm rigid, and something is altered from my habit. It's because shutting down the church seemed to be a response made in FEAR, and I don't think fear has any part in a Christian life. I don't envy Bishop John, and the decisions he has had to make. I understand his decisions. He is doing his best to responsible, and I completely understand that. But this very much feels like a diabolical attack, this pandemic. It is attacking not only our communities, but the very way we worship the Lord, and that bothers me a whole lot. Because those early martyrs, who were faced with certain death if found to be Christian, did not run and hide. They did not. Because death did not scare them. Christ conquered death, and they lived the fullness of faith without fear.
Maybe that's reckless. I know we can't be reckless. Our priests need protection, too. Everyone is doing the best they can, but I don't have to like it. And I certainly don't want to get USED to it. I don't want this to be the "new normal", or the "way things are" from here on out. I don't want the Precious Blood, the Kiss of Peace, to be forever banished from the mass because of a FEAR OF GERMS. We are one body in Christ. This pandemic is trying to make us afraid of one another. That... is diabolical.
Thank goodness for Monsignor Pope. He wrote the following article, and it says exactly what I'm feeling. God bless him!!
I write this from my perspective as a priest responsible for the care of souls; I do not claim to be a medical expert. My pastoral concern is that we as a nation and as a Church have succumbed to excessive fear, which bespeaks a spiritual problem. The medical concerns arising from the pandemic are not without merit, but they are not unprecedented. What is unique today is the collective paralysis brought on by this fear. I write to express my concern and to reiterate the constant biblical cry, “Do not be afraid!”