Trainwreckitis: The Immunocompromised Edition

If I stop to think (maybe I shouldn't), this is the tally.

Since November 6th, 2016 (the past three months), I have had

• a sinus infection
• 3 yeast infections
• 2 bouts of oral thrush
• c difficile
• a kidney infection

I have been on antibiotics 3 times (soon to be a fourth), and prednisone twice. I have used natural remedies that painted my tongue purple, used anti-fungals, mega-dosed vitamin C and cranberries.   Throw in a the odd surgery, a flu shot, and cancer... my immune system is just shot.  Pretty sure the upcoming radiation is not going to help that situation too much (although my plan is that it will kill any remaining bugs!!)  My complications are having complications.  It's just getting ridiculous. 

So enough whining.  I'm trying to keep my chin up, and stay positive (from the tone above, you can see I'm not really good at that).  It could really be much, much worse.  It really could, and for that I'm truly thankful. And I keep looking for the lessons that I'm supposed to learn throughout all of this.   Is God trying to teach me the value of solitude and quiet? Is He trying to teach me empathy for being a patient?  Is He trying to teach me perseverance?  Is He trying to show me  how awesome those around me really are?  Is He trying to show me that I need to rely on others sometimes, because obviously I can't do it myself?  Humility?  Patience?    Because He's definitely taught me all of that.  IS TEACHING me.    He's granted me abundant blessings through all of this, and I am eternally grateful that He has allowed this all to happen to ME and not to my CHILDREN - because that would be horrible.  Much worse, by a thousand fold. 

I have been able to receive the sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick twice through all of this.  That's a first in my world.  There is grace to be had there.  I have had the time to actually, in a formal way, pray for others.  Not just say the words.  I've had time to say my rosary.   I'm on my third Novena.   I wish I could say that I've spent this down time reading and bettering myself... but I've been very poor at that.  I've read maybe four books, but the majority of the time is wasted away, lying in bed, watching tv, being a blob.  I haven't yet developed the self-discipline to put facebook away, and use this time productively (spiritually, if not physically). 

Don't know where I'm going with all of this.  I'm not past it all yet, so I guess I'm more documenting this "in the heat of it" moment, and trying to put things in words, to gain some perspective.  Giving myself a little pep-talk if you will, because seeing things in black and white helps me to see things more objectively, and not be overwhelmed by it all. 

It's coming.  I'll get there, hopefully.