Monday, December 31, 2018

The Te Deum, as we close out 2018



You are God, we praise you:
You are the Lord: we acclaim you;
You are the eternal Father:
All creation worships you.
To you all angels, all the powers of heaven,
Cherubim and Seraphim, sing in endless praise:
Holy, holy, holy, Lord God of power and might,
Heaven and earth are full of your glory.
The glorious company of apostles praise you.
The noble fellowship of prophets praise you.
The white-robed army of martyrs praise you.
Throughout the world, the holy Church acclaims you:
Father of majesty unbounded,
Your true and only Son, worthy of all worship,
And the Holy Spirit, advocate and guide.
You, Christ, are the King of Glory
The eternal Son of the Father.
When you became man to set us free,
You did not spurn the Virgin’s womb.
You overcame the sting of death,
And opened the kingdom of heaven to all believers.
You are seated at God’s right hand in glory.
We believe that you will come and be our judge.
Come then, Lord, and help your people,
Bought with the price of your own blood,
And bring us with your saints to glory everlasting.

V: Save your people, Lord, and bless your inheritance.
R: Govern and uphold them now and always
V: Day by day we bless you.
R: We praise your name forever.
V: Keep us today, Lord, from all sin.
R: Have mercy on us, Lord have Mercy
V: Lord, show us your Love and Mercy
R: for we put our trust in you.
V: In you, Lord, is our hope:
R: and we shall never hope in vain.
Amen.

Friday, December 28, 2018

Faith and Science - by Paul Younger, a Christian Scientist



“It is in personal encounter with God that I accept the Lord’s invitation to proceed ‘way beyond all science”.’

… su ciencia tanto crece,
que se queda no sabiendo,
toda ciencia trascendiendo ….
St John of the Cross[1]

An atmosphere of hostility towards religion in general, and not least Christianity, has been expanding through contemporary culture in recent decades, especially in affluent northern Europe. This hostility has been nurtured by a swathe of popular books written by zealous atheist proselytizers. One of their most common assertions is that science has demonstrated the non-existence of God and that therefore every aspect of religion, faith and spirituality is now redundant.
Authoritative rejoinders to these atheist polemics have been published by so many eminent scientists, theologians and philosophers that there is no need to rehearse their arguments.[2] Indeed, for a large majority of erudite scientists—whether agnostics, atheists or believers—the most irritating aspect of the atheist propagandists is their casual disregard of basic principles of the philosophy of science. For formally, science cannot adjudicate over the existence or non-existence of God, because the domain of science is Nature, and metaphysics lies beyond the scope and techniques of scientific method. Thus, if scientific investigations were your sole recourse, then your only honest position on the existence of God would have to be agnosticism. To embrace faith, or to espouse atheism, requires value judgments to be made, which simply fall outside the domain of science.[3] Disingenuous over-claiming on the scope of science is not only mischievous; it deliberately misleads those who are unfamiliar with the philosophy of science. I am occasionally challenged by non-scientists, emboldened by this loud misinformation, to reconcile my scientific profession with Christian faith.
It seems to me that much of the ‘argument’, if it takes place at all, is increasingly sterile, repeating worn-out clichés ad nauseam. Rather than rehearsing this stale polemic, therefore, I shall focus here on Christian spirituality from the perspective of a career-long research scientist. While this topic may be more amenable to poetry than to prose, it is consistent with a spirit of genuine enquiry to present my perspective in the form of answers to some of the familiar questions.
‘How can a scientist believe in God?’
Before answering this question, my scientific training tells me to specify my terms of reference. By any definition, the concept ‘God’ embraces infinity and eternity, and any reality beyond that. Given that humans are finite, and constrained by language and culture, it is simply beyond our grasp fully to understand and articulate what ‘God’ might signify. This does not mean that we cannot talk about God, but it does mean that all discussion about God depends on analogical language.[4] To resort to analogy does not restrict us to theology or metaphysics: analogical techniques are commonplace in many branches of science, especially where direct observations are impossible (for example in deep igneous processes). So analogical language is not only useful, but vital. Yet when it comes to God, analogies alone simply cannot take us to the frontiers of human understanding in encountering the divine.
Notwithstanding this prior disclaimer, for my part the interface of science with faith is expressed by my heartfelt responses to three fundamental questions, which are at once simple yet infinitely profound:[5]
  • Why is there anything as opposed to nothing at all? (Hebrews 11:3; Revelation 4:11)
  • Why is the universe intelligible, as opposed to complete chaos? (compare Genesis 1:1–2; Psalm 18 (17):5–15; John 1:1; 1 Corinthians 14:33)
  • Why do we encounter deep love, in people’s hearts and actions, despite terrible horrors? (Ecclesiastes 3:11; Psalm 36:5–7; Jeremiah 31:3; Ephesians 3:17–19; 1 John 4:16)
It is in pondering these questions that I find my mind and heart captivated by God the Creator, who not only calls forth order out of chaos (Genesis 1:1–2), but sustains existence from each moment to the next. I am not particularly interested in intellectual considerations. Rather, I conceive my encounter with God as a sustained relationship. For me, this finds expression in the sacraments and in daily practice, of lectio divina (prayerful scriptural reading), the Examen (reviewing the blessings and challenges of each day) and silent meditation. As a scientist, my instinctive predilections attract me to prayers of gratitude for the beauties of Nature, seeking opportunities to contribute to God’s providence for all creatures and nurturing the habit of living one day at a time.
So often, I feel that sincere discussions over the ‘existence’ of God end up bedevilled by talking at cross-purposes: very frequently, people who regard themselves as atheists are ‘not denying the existence of some answer to the mystery of how come there is anything instead of nothing …’. Rather, they are,
… denying what [they] think or have been told is a religious answer to this question …. that there is some grand architect of the universe who designed it … a Top Person in the universe who issues arbitrary decrees for the rest of [us] and enforces them because He is the most powerful being around. Now if denying this claim makes you an atheist, then I and Thomas Aquinas and a whole Christian tradition are atheistic too.
But a genuine atheist is one who simply does not see that there is any problem or mystery here, one who is content to ask questions within the world, but cannot see that the world itself raises a question.[6]
Like very many other scientists who are Christians, I feel compelled to face the fundamental questions about existence, intelligibility and love in the full awareness that my scientific knowledge and techniques will not avail me in my quest. It is in personal encounter with God that I accept the Lord’s invitation to proceed ‘way beyond all science’.
‘But surely you aren’t a creationist … ?’
The term ‘creationist’ has become synonymous with a minority of Christians who deny the existence of evolution, on the grounds that they consider the scientific narrative to be in conflict with the scriptures, especially Genesis 1. These ‘creationists’ are largely confined to small, non-orthodox, pentecostalist Churches, predominantly in the USA and their mission territories. Small pockets of the tendency can be found in some Nonconformist Churches, though this is by no means the norm.
One of the most revered pioneers of palaeontology, the Scottish geologist Hugh Miller (1802–1856), wrote profuse theological reflections on his field observations, eloquently expounding the consistency between different sources of truth.[7] It is unfortunate that the self-styled ‘creationists’ appear to deny the precept that there cannot be any conflict between valid human reason and divine reason. To insist on such a conflict is to betray a concept of a god who is far too small. To argue that God might be impugned in debates on dispassionate reason is to attempt to constrain God’s attributes within puny human categories. This denial of evolution is, of course, a gift to the atheistic zealots, who seize on it as evidence of irrational thinking and then try to generalise this minority position as the norm in mainstream Christian thought. On the contrary, for mainstream Christians truth simply cannot be in conflict with truth: Nil hoc verbo Veritátis verius.[8]
Following in the tradition of Hugh Miller and countless subsequent scientists, many Christians have contributed to scientific discoveries in the unravelling of the history and processes responsible for evolution, including the pioneering geneticist Gregor Mendel (1822–1884), the palaeontologist Pierre Teilhard de Chardin SJ (1881–1955) and his present-day heirs, and those responsible for decoding the human genome.[9] By the time I studied geology at university, any perceived conflict between scripture and science was long dead. I recall discovering that an eminent visitor was a lay preacher; I prayed with him in thanksgiving for the myriad wonders of rocks, fossils and landscapes.[10]
Meanwhile, scholarship at the interface between science and theology continues to advance, not just in relation to evolution, but throughout the natural sciences—from molecules to the entire expanse of the universe.[11] The more we discover about the universe, the more human awe expands (Psalm 8:1–5). To be a scientist is to have a particularly privileged access to the profundities of Nature. Hence my daily prayer commences with thanksgiving for the senses which enable us to delight in creation.[12]
So, to answer the question: obviously I am not a ‘creationist’ in the narrow-minded sense in which a false nostrum is erected to oppose evolutionary science. But I am a joy-filled worshipper of the sole Creator God, who continues to act through countless secondary causes.[13] 
‘Enjoying nature is all very well, but how can you reconcile a loving God with pain, suffering and premature death?’
If the militant atheists have what they regard as a ‘killer question’ for Christianity it is that of suffering.[14] Yet even the most cursory engagement with the New Testament—and much of the Jewish Bible—reveals sustained exposition of God’s response to suffering and death.[15] The passion and resurrection of Jesus are the fulcrum of all Christian thought and experience. Strikingly, Jesus does not waste time asking why suffering occurs, but rather:
  1. notes that random events do not discriminate between the virtuous and the villainous (Matthew 5:45), and hence suffering afflicts both the just and unjust, whether this results from human violence (for example Luke 13:1–3), chronic diseases (John 9:1–3) or accidental catastrophes (Luke 13:4–5);
  2. sets about healing and redeeming the afflicted (see, for example, Matthew 14:14) and, in the process, demonstrates God’s desire to do the same. The Lord’s Prayer itself makes clear that God’s benevolent will is fulfilled in the Kingdom of Heaven, in stark contrast to the frustration of God’s will in our world (Matthew 6:10)—especially by evil (Matthew 6:13).
Despite this clear teaching, many Christians continue to misunderstand God’s loving will. The Lisbon earthquake of 1 November 1755 has often been cited as a devastating blow to Christian beliefs, and thus a boost to Enlightenment atheism.[16] Yet Jesus’ teaching on such events has always been clear (Matthew 5:45; Luke 13:4–5). Divine providence and evil coexist in our finite world (see for example Matthew 13:24–30). We are not promised that suffering will be fully vanquished in this world: ‘The Son of God suffered unto death, not that humans might not suffer, but that their sufferings might be like His’.[17] Yet Jesus continues to heal, and to redeem the sin that arises from the temptation to despair, when suffering and death threaten to undermine our trust in divine love.[18] It is understandable that self-aware creatures deplore the suffering that is encountered in our finite world; but, then again, so does God: ‘Our responding to life’s unfairness with sympathy and with righteous indignation, God’s compassion and God’s anger working through us, may be the surest proof of all of God’s reality …’.[19]
Of course it is easy for an atheist to reject this reading of the world: ‘Only a capricious, mean-minded, stupid god [could] create a world that is so full of injustice and pain …’.[20] Yet, from a scientific viewpoint, it is very far from obvious that the universe could have been arranged in a better way. This is, essentially, God’s riposte to this challenge, as expressed in the Book of Job (38:1–18). To modern science, ever since Einstein’s deduction of relativity and the subsequent discoveries around quantum mechanics, it is clear that the universe expresses both apparently ‘stable’ structures (which venerable Newtonian physics can still describe accurately in many cases) and random physical processes, which are formally referred to as ‘stochastic’ processes.[21] But it is now clear that interactions between stochastic processes give rise to the very structures that we regard as ‘stable’. Hence it turns out that ‘capricious’, stochastic processes are indispensable if we are to have the universe we know (and we cannot know any other).
Stochastic processes occur on all scales in space and time, from stellar nebulae to the cells in every living organism. For the most part, stochastic dynamics generate structures of breathtaking fecundity. Nevertheless, from the perspective of vulnerable, short-lived humans, many familiar stochastic processes threaten life. For instance, lightning strikes can kill. Yet if lightning did not exist, the Earth’s atmospheric ozone layer would be lost, exposing all animals to fatal solar radiation and hypothermia as heat would be lost to outer space. Over longer timescales, the absence of stochastic plate-tectonic processes, such as earthquakes and volcanic eruptions, might be welcome, but all life would eventually become extinct, as nutrients would be mineralised. In our own bodies, stochastic processes are indispensable in cell division, without which no life would continue; and yet the same processes give rise to cancer. While it is understandable to feel aggrieved, from a scientific perspective it is irrational angrily to curse all ‘capricious’ processes, for in their absence none of us would exist to complain in the first place.[22] Of course, one might claim that the balance between stochastic processes and stable structures is poor, albeit there is no scientific basis to reach that conclusion. What we do know is that numerous physical constants are poised precisely at the magnitudes required to allow life to emerge.[23]
 So our world emerges as an inherent mixture of blessings and misfortunes. Whether an individual judges this mixture positively is subjective. I get the impression that most humans view the balance favourably. For my part, as I undertake my Examen daily, I always find a surfeit of blessings over desolations, even on the very darkest days. Admittedly, I have yet to endure the extremes of spiritual devastation.[24] Yet the more I persevere with the Examen, the more positive becomes my appreciation of God’s loving gifts and graces.
‘Next you’re going to tell me that you believe in miracles …’
Before considering ‘miracles’, it is important to acknowledge that healing exists—most prominently through the work of health professionals. Given that all humans are creatures of God’s love, health care is integral to divine healing. Furthermore, a wider spectrum of suffering is healed by the ministry of the Church community:
To bring to the patient a sense of the presence of Christ and of his fellow Christians, to strengthen his faith and his awareness of the love by which he is surrounded, to restore to him a sense of belonging to a community in which his life matters; all these things might be expected to help his recovery.[25]
I have repeatedly experienced this divine healing at first hand.[26]
But what of ‘miracles’? Many instances are documented of prayer preceding spectacular healing.[27] Yet from a scientific perspective, it is difficult to categorize a given case of healing as ‘miraculous’ on the grounds that medical science does not currently have any explanation; after all, science is advancing continually, and fresh explanations may yet emerge for events that were previously inexplicable.
To obsess about identifying ‘miracles’ risks missing a crucial precept. If we truly believe that God is present in all things, as St Ignatius Loyola emphasizes, then God works in natural processes. But given that God remains sovereign—notwithstanding voluntary self-limitation—then God can overrule normal processes. But this does not constitute a violation of creation, because (as St Thomas Aquinas explained),
God … cannot literally intervene in the universe because He is always there—just as much in the normal, natural run of things as in the resurrection of Christ or in any other miraculous event. [Hence] a miracle is not a special presence of God; it is a special absence of natural causes—a special absence that makes the perpetual presence of God more visible to us. Since God is there all the time, and since He doesn’t need to be mentioned when we are doing physics or biology, or doing the shopping, we are in danger of forgetting Him. So a miracle is … an exuberant gesture, like an embrace or a kiss, to say, ‘Look, I’m here; I love you’, lest in our wonder and delight at the works of His creation we forget that all we have and are is the radiance of His love for us.[28]
This is precisely my understanding of what Jesus meant when he said that the sick are healed ‘so that God’s works might be revealed’ in them (John 9:3).
‘So what difference does it make for you to be a scientist?’
At one level, to be a scientist makes no difference at all: anyone from any walk of life is invited to embrace God’s love. But given that I am a scientist, it would be ungrateful to discard my experience and expertise as I accept the Lord’s invitation to communion with the Trinity. So I am called to be the most conscientious scientist I can be; to proclaim my gratitude and praise for all of the wonders of the creation that I have the privilege to observe. But beyond that, I am called to proceed ‘way beyond all science’, to rejoice that ‘my sole occupation is love’.[29]

Paul L. Younger, who is married with three sons, is a well-known research scientist. He has been honoured with fellowships of the Royal Academy of Engineering and the Royal Society of Edinburgh. In 2015 he completed the Spiritual Exercises at the Ignatian Spirituality Centre in Glasgow.

This article was published in The Way, 57/2 (April 2018).  To find out more about and subscribe to The Way, please visit theway.org.uk.


Thursday, December 6, 2018

Why do we need confession?

…. Because a good, kind Father knows that we need it!!


"Even if you do not confess, God is not ignorant of the deed, since he knew it before it was committed. Why then do you not speak of it? Does the transgression become heavier by the confession? No, it becomes lighter and less troublesome. And this is why he wants you to confess: not that you should be punished, but that you should be forgiven; not that he may learn your sin—how could that be, since he has seen it?—but that you may learn what favor he bestows. He wishes you to learn the greatness of his grace, so that you may praise him perfectly, that you may be slower to sin, that you may be quicker to virtue. And if you do not confess the greatness of the need, you will not understand the enormous magnitude of his grace."
— St. John Chrysostom

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Nearly Two Years In

Since I seem to be documenting everything here, might as well continue.  Quarterly lab and ultrasound was done last week on truly horrific "UP in winter" roads.  If cancer doesn't kill me, the drive to get to Wisconsin every three months will.  Good grief.  Anyways.  Rob and I saw the doctor on Monday, and made it a "get away" weekend for the two of us.  Which was SO nice.  Out to dinner, a stay at the Hyatt, then Christmas shopping for the kids in the morning.  We had a great time.   Driving on snowy roads is so much more pleasant when Rob's at the wheel instead of me ;).

So the bottom line from my appointment is... pretty status quo.  Tumor marker went up from 4.2 to 4.9 and is now 5.1.  So slowly rising, but not as dramatically as last year at this time, when it went from 4.3 to 7.5.  No answers as to why things would go up and then come down.  The doctor said that sometimes such fluctuations are associated with varied TSH numbers (when TSH is higher, so is the TG level), but the data doesn't support that theory in my case.  My TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) is now the lowest it's ever been in my life at .07.  The doctor is trying to get the number as close to "0" as he can to starve the cancer.  So, it's low low low.  But it doesn't seem to bother me at that level.  Apparently such low levels of TSH can cause tremors, irritability and hot flashes.  Given that I'm going through menopause... who can really say what's what anymore, but I DON'T have tremors.  So that's good.

A thyroglobulin level of 5.1 equates to about 5.1 grams of cancer, per the doctor.  Which means about 5 paper-clips worth of cancer still hanging around SOMEWHERE, but we can't see it on ultrasound, so there's nothing they can do, apparently.  Believe me.  I asked LOTS of questions.  Zapping me with radiation again isn't an option at this time, as the doctor said that the cancer is obviously embedded in other tissues where the radioiodine can't find it, so it wouldn't be very effective.  The only treatment option with any chance of success, he said, is additional surgery, but since we can't SEE the cancer, there's nothing to cut out at this point.  So here we are, still in "watch and wait" mode... waiting for the stuff to get bigger and show itself, go away (my choice), or.... undulate for all eternity.  Which at this point seems the most likely scenario.

Dr. Sheehan said he sees about 350 cases of thyroid cancer a year, of which 9-10 have metastasized.  Of those, he has one other guy who is "biochemically incomplete" like me, and has been for EIGHTEEN YEARS.  One-eight.  Which means for 18 years, he has been monitored every 3 months to make sure the cancer isn't growing.  His TG number has stayed about half of what mine is, but still.  I suppose, on the one hand, if I can live my life and just deal with monitoring, 18 years is a good sign.  It becomes more of a chronic condition than an acute problem.  Obviously, the guy hasn't DIED in that 18 years, so that's awesome.  On the other hand... 18 years of something LURKING, of having to be seeing doctors, and not being able to do anything about it, seems kind of a downer to me.  But whatever.  It's better than the alternative.  And we've all got our medical issues anyway... this one is just mine.

I asked the doctor what the magic number is.  How far do we let the TG number creep up before we DO SOMETHING.  He gave me a random number of 10.  But didn't say what we'd do if we hit 10, because from what he was explaining, there's not much to do.  But 10.

So, current plan:  Keep TG under 10, and get a date night to Wasau, WI with my husband every three months.  That's probably what God's plan was all along.  If we're too stubborn and cheap to go on dates voluntarily, he'll FORCE us to go on them.  HA!


Saturday, October 27, 2018

Meditation for the day, which is EXACTLY what I need to hear!

"Many things happen that God does not will. But he still permits them, in his wisdom, and they remain a stumbling block or scandal to our minds. God asks us to do all we can to eliminate evil. But despite our efforts, there is always a whole set of circumstances which we can do nothing about, which are not necessarily willed by God but nevertheless are permitted by him, and which God invites us to consent to trustingly and peacefully, even if they make us suffer and cause us problems. We are not being asked to consent to evil, but to consent to the mysterious wisdom of God who permits evil. Our consent is not a compromise with evil but the expression of our trust that God is stronger than evil. This is a form of obedience that is painful but very fruitful."
— Fr. Jacques Philippe

Thursday, October 4, 2018

Thought For the Day: God Molding Us



By the inimitable C.S. Lewis:

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."

Saturday, September 22, 2018

This

"Grant me, O Lord my God, a mind to know you, a heart to seek you, wisdom to find you, conduct pleasing to you, faithful perseverance in waiting for you, and a hope of finally embracing you."
St. Thomas Aquinas

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Thought for the Day

"As we have seen, there is sometimes a big difference between what God is actually asking of us, and what we imagine he is asking. We won’t have the grace to do what God is not asking of us. But for what he is asking, he has promised us his grace: God grants what he commands. When God inspires us to do something (if it really is God who is the source of the inspiration), at the same time he supplies the ability to do it, even if it is beyond our capacity or scares us at the start. Every motion that comes from God brings both the light to understand what God intends, and the strength to accomplish it: light that illuminates the mind, and strength that gives power to the will."

Fr. Jacques Philippe

Monday, August 27, 2018

My Rant/Musing on the Feast of St. Monica

The letter I sent to my sister, regarding the current scandals in the Church.  

"I feel like you are assuming I am defending the Church and that we are in this discussion of defending vs not defending the Church and it's actions.  THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS IS!  I am NOT defending the Church, and I'm as mad as you!!!   I couldn't sleep last night I was so upset   I do admit, when that Grand Jury report came out, I was repulsed and disgusted, but I wasn't surprised, because I knew it wasn't a NEW scandal.  It was the same scandal we already knew about in Boston and Spokane and other places around the country, from the same time period, just in a different place and a greater scope.  That stuff all happened 30-70 years ago. And I knew that there had been reforms in 2002, hopefully addressing the issue, so it wouldn't continue.  Children wouldn't be put at risk again.  But then, this new McCarrick thing makes me realize that abuses are STILL GOING ON.  Maybe it looks different now because of the reforms.  Maybe it targets young but adult men in seminary rather than young children, because that's not considered criminal.  But it's still there, and it's STILL HAPPENING.  That makes me SICK.  And disgusted.  And angry.  And betrayed.  By even the highest levels.

The question is, and the question Rob and I keep asking is... what do we DO about it, as lay people?   When you see leaders acting in such ways??? Do we leave?  Do we fight?   We don't just passively sit by.  Rob wants a revolution, but that doesn't look like a political revolution would.  We don't rise up with guns. Not in the Church.  I know that my trust is in CHRIST, and not in men.  Men fail all the time.  Even men that aren't supposed to.  The lifeblood of the Church is the sacraments, not men.  And the sacraments, even if performed by evil men, are still valid.  The gospel yesterday was perfect.  "Lord, where would I go?  You hold the keys to eternal life."  Even if I wanted to leave the Church... where would I go??   Who else holds the deposit of faith, and the Eucharist?  That's what I can't leave.  But I can and WILL fight to purify Christ's Church, even if it means we lose 75% of our members.  If it's small and meek instead of powerful... then it will get back to what it was in the beginning anyway.  A persecuted Church, but a faithful one.  If we worship in nearly empty buildings, so be it.

I told Rob that the way we as lay people act is ANGRY, yes.  The Bride of Christ is soiled.  But then, we become SAINTS.  Because Saints are the spiritual soldiers that the Church needs now to fight its battles.  And we hold each and every person accountable for their actions, because dang it... those children didn't deserve what they got.  Those seminarians didn't deserve what they got.  So we demand accountability.  We demand JUSTICE.

Just so you know definitively how I feel, and not just ASSUME that I'm defending the Church.  I am NOT.  But I will not leave it.  I will fight for it.  Like I fight for my family.  Like I fight for my marriage.  We fight for the worthwhile things.  We fight to make them better.  We don't leave.

I often wondered if I had lived during the time of the Reformation, knowing the abuses of the Church, how I would've responded.  Would I have stayed?  Or left?  Now I know.  I would have stayed.  I will stay.  But I will NOT be content to leave things as they are.  

Today is the Feast of St. Monica.  St. Monica is the patron saint of difficult marriages and victims of adultery.  The Bride of Christ, the Church, has been soiled, and failed her marriage vows.  St. Monica is the patron saint of wayward children.  We children of God have lost our way.  But St. Monica is also the patron saint of conversions.  Our family of Christ needs a conversion of heart!!!  

St. Monica, pray for us! "

And this is appropo.  From Pope Emeritus Benedict, back in 1969 when he was Father Ratzinger.

"The future of the Church can and will issue from those whose roots are deep and who live from the pure fullness of their faith. It will not issue from those who accommodate themselves merely to the passing moment or from those who merely criticize others and assume that they themselves are infallible measuring rods; nor will it issue from those who take the easier road, who sidestep the passion of faith, declaring false and obsolete, tyrannous and legalistic, all that makes demands upon men, that hurts them and compels them to sacrifice themselves. To put this more positively: The future of the Church, once again as always, will be reshaped by saints, by men, that is, whose minds probe deeper than the slogans of the day, who see more than others see, because their lives embrace a wider reality....From the crisis of today the Church of tomorrow will emerge — a Church that has lost much. She will become small and will have to start afresh more or less from the beginning. She will no longer be able to inhabit many of the edifices she built in prosperity. As the number of her adherents diminishes, so it will lose many of her social privileges....But in all of the changes at which one might guess, the Church will find her essence afresh and with full conviction in that which was always at her center: faith in the triune God, in Jesus Christ, the Son of God made man, in the presence of the Spirit until the end of the world. In faith and prayer she will again recognize the sacraments as the worship of God and not as a subject for liturgical scholarship."