Catholicity

I am Catholic. It is the denomination of my heritage... my mother, my aunts and uncles, grandparents, and great-grandparents have all been Catholic. I am not sure how far back the links of this chain go; for certain back to the mining towns of Idaho, the Black Hills of South Dakota, the Battle of Little Big Horn, and before that -- across the distance of an ocean, back to the motherland of Germany. It was a gift given to me at birth, this heritage, and for this reason Catholicity is in my blood, and frames my way of viewing the world. It has only been as an adult, though, and through the loving questions of non-Catholics, and the skepticism of myself and others, that I have been led to become a Catholic in my head and in my heart. That I have been able to say that I choose this way of viewing the Truth that was revealed and entrusted to us by God. I choose this way of worshipping -- a way as old as Christianity itself. I know that every time I attend Mass, I am speaking the same words that billions have spoken before me through 2000 years of Christian history. They sang the same songs, partook of the same supper. I am part of a body of Christ that does not consist only of those of us who happen to be alive and walking around. I am a part of a communion of saints and believers that worship together still, even though their earthly eyes witnessed different eras. This is immensely comforting to me.

It may seem hypocritical to some (it does even to myself) that although I feel THIS Catholic, I have worshipped in the Lutheran Church for the past 10 years.  I love my church, and the family it has become to me.  I love the warmth of this congregation, and the Christian examples that inspire me daily.  I love the sincerity of faith that is shown in  humble people going about God's work.  And I love the questions that have made me think and dig and research and challenge my heritage of Catholicty.  There are very few people that know that, although I attend this church for many reasons, I don't consider myself Lutheran.  I consider myself a Catholic attending a Lutheran church.  I attend a Catholic church on Saturday and a Lutheran church on Sunday, and as I write this, it seems ridiculous.  Choose one.  Make a decision.  It's more complicated than that, although I agree it shouldn't be.  Part is resistance, part is fear - of the rift it would cause in my marriage, with my inlaws, with my friends.  The gut anti-Catholic reaction in Protestantism is alive and well, I assure you.  So I feel a "secret" Catholic, or a "closeted" Catholic.  I feel that I am worshipping with hands containing four fingers instead of five - that the biggest thing that is WRONG with the Lutheran way of worship is that it lacks fullness, the completeness that I yearn for.

I go back to the Early Church, and I study the Church Fathers, and I know that that church was undeniably "catholic". It may have grown and morphed in appearance over time, but there it is in it's fledgling form. I see a sacramental view of the world, a theology that does not deny the POWER -- real, non-symbolic, actual POWER, through the grace of God -- that is granted to His church body. I see a depth of understanding of His word; not merely literal and fundamental, because if we take these words at only their surface meaning, we miss the wellspring of revelation beneath. I see liturgy that has remained essentially unchanged throughout history, and it is as if I hold the hands of the early martyrs and all that have gone before me when I participate in such a liturgy. I see apostolic succession. As I look into all the major Christian religions who claim apostolic succession (such as the Copts, and eastern Orthodox churches), I see their similarities, and know that those truths entrusted by the first Christians have been preserved and protected through out the ages, to remain intact. I also see how the history of God's people didn't end with the book of Revelation - it could continue to be written today. God didn't drop a book in our laps and leave. He's still HERE among us, with the Holy Spirit to guide us. I see, as I look back on this faith of my heritage, the frailty of the human being, how imperfect we are, and how we have failed our commission, failed our Covenant, repeatedly. But I know that God has not failed US. When Jesus said it would be a new and EVERLASTING covenant through His body and blood, I know that the powers of Satan infiltrating Christ's church cannot break that covenant. The love story God has with mankind is permanent.

So I stand at a crossroads - because I don't want to upset the cart, the peace, because I have been told that how things are is "good enough".  Because I am afraid.  Which is silly, but true.  And I want my children to know the fullness of faith that I am finding.  I want them to know TRUTH.  Full truth.   I want unification - not a "your" and "my" church, but OUR church, OUR way of worship.  I want to be another link in the chain, and pass the gift on to my children, just as it was a gift given to me.  I do not want this chain to end with me, especially not because I am AFRAID. 

As G.K. Chesterton says, "There are two ways of getting home; and one of them is to stay there." Others, like myself, leave home, and go searching, only to one day turn around and find our answers in the very place we just left. We just need the perspective to see it.

Fruits of the Spirit

Galatians 5:22-23 22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

The boys have been learning about the Fruits of the Spirit in Sunday school. It’s been wonderful listening to them rattle them off – it’s sinking in!! It’s also gotten me to thinking about what living a spirit-filled life LOOKS LIKE. What the world sees on the outside when God changes us on the inside. It’s not self-righteousness. Not condemnation. We shouldn’t become more stern, laugh less, have less patience with those around us because they aren’t living up to God’s standards. We are more acutely aware of ALL of that as we grow closer to God. That is true. But instead, as we truly become more in tune to how often we as humans fail our loving God – a fact that should rightly strike us with guilt – He grants us the grace to face that realization with JOY. And HOPE. Yes, we’re all sinners. Yes, this world is going astray. We know that – it’s been the way of humankind since Adam and Eve. We are frail, and weak, and make mistakes. But through God’s grace, as we grow ever mindful of these facts, the Spirit blesses us. Because through our darkness, we see the hope that the Light brings, and we rejoice in that! Thank God! There is a way out! And that faith, that hope in salvation, causes a blossoming, not a shriveling, inside of us. The fruit of that hope is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. THAT is what we need to portray to the world as Christians. We need to let the Spirit shine through us. Let us not portray ourselves as self-righteous, judgemental. We recognize evil, we call it for what it is, but our response is not one of condemnation, but LOVE. Because that is what Christ offers us. ALL of us, if we only accept that gift. And if we let the Spirit shine through our lives, those in darkness will flock to it like moths to a flame. We are called the share the Light with all. May the fruits of the Spirit in our lives be a beacon.