Because Fulton Sheen was Wise Beyond His Time

 “The first direct, human limitation of infant life in the history of Christianity took place in the village of Bethlehem through an infant-controller whose name was Herod. The prevention of infant life was simultaneously an attack upon Divinity in the person of God made man, Jesus Christ our Lord. No one strikes at birth who does not simultaneously strike at God, for birth is earth’s reflection of the Son’s eternal generation.”    Archbishop Fulton Sheen (Three to Get Married)

Status Update: 4 years In

 Went back to Mayo last week for a 6 month (well, 7 month because of COVID) follow up.   We're four years into this cancer gig... starting to think it's just going to be a part of my life from here on out.  Rob went with me, and we made it a little mid-week getaway, which was nice.  He did ALL the driving, and luckily the roads were good, even in mid-January.  We did a little shopping, went out to dinner (restaurants are open in Minnesota!  They aren't in Michigan - so we took advantage).  Had an ultrasound, some blood work, and then met with Dr. Stan the Man.  

Results: Status quo.  Which means good.  The one nodule they can visualize with ultrasound stayed essentially the same size and is poorly vascularized, which means that radioiodine in June of 2019 effectively stunted the growth - which is AWESOME.  Tumor marker went from 1.9 to 2.2, but that's not much of a change.  Basically, the stuff is there but behaving itself, and that is GOOD NEWS.  I asked the doctor about the COVID vaccine.  I know this is an mRNA vaccine that hijacks a cell's own "factory" to create the COVID spike protein for an immune response.  What happens if the vaccine enters a cancer cell?  There's no research on the effects of this vaccine on cancer patients, so I've held off, even though I could get it through the hospital.  Was just hoping for a little more research and data to be determined before taking it, but Dr. Stan said "either the cancer cell will make the spike protein or it won't.  There are no other things that it can do with the mRNA".... such as make the cancer go super active, which is what I was afraid of.  So, I guess there's no good reason NOT to get the vaccine at this point, although I'm still a tad nervous about how new it all is.  There is no research on long term effects for a vaccine that took 10 months to create.  But... it should be good.  This is all besides the point.

Dr. Stan also asked if I wanted a referral to an ENT to see about a procedure to "bulk up" my paralyzed vocal cord.  "Well, " says I.  "My single working vocal cord is super loud.  I can yell at my kids just fine.  I can swallow most things most of the time.  The only thing I can't do very well anymore is jog."

"Do you want to jog?" asks he?

I thought about it for a hot second.  "I'm almost 50 years old.  No.  I don't want to jog anymore.  I can walk and ski and snowshoe and hike.  That is fine.  I don't need to jog anymore."

So that's that.  He said if I ever did want to take up jogging again, to let him know and we'd do the procedure, but at the moment, I feel like I'm very functional and we should just leave well enough alone.  

So good report, good little mid-winter getaway with my husband, and all is well in cancer land!

From The Mouths of Babes

 If we thought 2020 was bad... 2021 is starting to one-up it, and it's only been around for a week and a half.  Tensions in the country are running uber-high, the pandemic proceeds as it will - even with a vaccine - and many businesses are struggling.  Quite frankly, our country is a mess at the moment.  An utter mess.  Thankfully, though, school began again for the kids this past week, which means that I get to be back working face-to-face with kids, which is how I prefer it.  

I asked one of the kids I see for therapy how his Christmas break was.  He was full of tales of Legos and new watches, and being out on the frozen lake.  It made me smile.  The darkness hadn't encroached on his little world, and that made me happy.  We were walking along the school hallway, he in his walker, coming up to maybe my upper thigh - me towering above him, bending down to try and here his quiet voice muffled behind his mask.  And then he stopped, looked up at me, and said in his high-pitched way...

"Did you see the Star of Bethlehem right before Christmas?  It hasn't showed up in like 800 years.  But it came this year!  I know it was cloudy so we couldn't see it so well, but it was still there.  And it was God telling us that Jesus is still here with us, that He'll never leave us!"

It was so out of the blue, so unexpected, and so what I needed to hear, that I had to turn my head so he wouldn't see that I had started to cry.    And then he went back to talk of Legos and school, and other mundane things, completely unaware of how he had just pierced my heart.

God talks through these little ones.  He really does.  And He hasn't left us alone, even in 2021....

Thought of the Day: Archbishop Fulton Sheen

 “The gravest danger to American democracy is not from the outside; it is from the inside – the hearts of citizens in whom the light of faith has gone out. Keep God as the origin of authority and you keep the ethical character of authority; reject Him and the authority becomes power subject to no law except its own.” Archbishop Fulton Sheen

From Tucker Carlson. EXACTLY WHAT I THINK.

Amid the bombardment of images of what took place at the U.S. Capitol Wednesday, too little time has been spent thinking about why it happened. Anyone who is trying to understand the significance of what’s going on right now ought to watch video of the last moments of Ashli Babbit, the woman who was shot and killed in the chaos.

Footage, which can easily be found online, shows Babbit standing in a hallway right off the House floor with an American flag tied around her neck. The scene around her is chaotic. People are bumping into each other, yelling, trying to get through the door into the chamber. Suddenly, with no warning, there is gunfire. You hear a shot and Babbit falls. People in the hallway scream. The camera closes in on her face. Babbit looks stunned. She’s staring straight ahead. You can see that she knows she’s about to die, which she did.

So what can we learn from this? It’s not enough to call it a tragedy. Imagine for a second learning that was your daughter. The last time you spoke to her, she was heading to Washington for a political rally. Now, she’s dead. You’ll never talk to her again. That’s what we’re watching, and we may be watching a lot more of it in the coming days.

Political violence begets political violence. That is an iron law. We have to be against that, no matter who commits the violence or under what pretext, no matter how many self-interested demagogues assure us the violence is justified or necessary. We have a duty to oppose all of this, not simply because political violence kills other people’s children, but because in the end it doesn’t work.

No good person will live a happier life because that woman was killed in the hallway of the Capitol today. So our only option, as a practical matter, is to fix what is causing this in the first place.

You may have nothing in common with the people on the other side of the country (increasingly, you probably don’t), but you’re stuck with them. The idea that groups of Americans will somehow break off into separate peaceful nations of like-minded citizens, is a fantasy. The two hemispheres of this country are inseparably intertwined, like conjoined twins. Neither can leave without killing the other. As horrifying as this moment is, we have no option but to make it better, to gut it out. 

The second thing to consider, and it’s related to the first, is why Ashli Babbit went to the rally in the first place. She bore no resemblance to the angry children we have seen wrecking our cities in recent months — pasty, entitled nihilists dressed in black, setting fires and spray painting slogans on statues. She looked pretty much like everyone else.

So why was she there? We ought to think about that. If you want to fix it, you have to think about that.

The only reason this country is rich and successful is because for hundreds of years, we have enjoyed a stable political system. The only reason that system is stable is because it’s a democracy, responsive to voters. 

Democracy is a pressure relief valve.   As long as people sincerely believe they can change things by voting, they stay calm. They don’t burst into the House chamber. They talk and they organize and they vote. But the opposite is also true if people begin to believe that their democracy is fraudulent, that voting is a charade, that the system is rigged and it’s run in secret by a small group of powerful, dishonest people who are acting in their own interests. Then, God knows what could happen.

Actually, we do know what could happen, because it’s happening right now. It’s happened in countless other countries over countless centuries. And the cycle is always the same because human nature never changes.

“Listen to us!” scream the population.

“Shut up and do what you’re told,” say their leaders.

In the face of dissent, the first instinct of illegitimate leadership is to crack down on the population, but crackdowns never make it better. They always make the country more volatile and more dangerous. The people in charge rarely understand that. They don’t want to, they don’t care to learn or listen because all of this conversation is a referendum on them and their leadership. So they clamp down harder.

This is the Romanov program, and it ends badly every single time. But that doesn’t mean they won’t try it again. Of course they will, because it’s their nature. It’s how we got here in the first place.

Millions of Americans sincerely believe the last election was fake. You can dismiss them as crazy. You can call them conspiracy theorists. You can kick them off Twitter. But that won’t change their minds. Rather than trying to change their minds, to convince them and reassure them that the system is real, that democracy works — which you would do if you cared about the country or the people who live here — our new leaders will try to silence them.

What happened Wednesday will be used by the people taking power to justify stripping you of the rights you were born with as an American:   Your right to speak without being censored, your right to assemble, to not be spied upon, to make a living, and to defend your family.

These are the most basic and ancient freedoms that we have there. They’re why we live here in the first place. They’re why we’re proud to be Americans. They’re what make us different, and they’re all now in peril.

When thousands of your countrymen storm the Capitol building, you don’t have to like it. We don’t. You can be horrified by the violence, and we are.

But if you don’t bother to pause and learn a single thing from your citizens storming your Capitol building, then you’re a fool, you lack wisdom and self-awareness, and you have no place running a country. We got to this sad, chaotic day for a reason. 

St. Charles Borromeo... on worship during a plague (From "The Orations Did Not Stop")

 ….the clergy are told to prepare each household for the devotional activities devised for the extraordinary circumstances by teaching them a variety of prayers, litanies, and Psalms ahead of the quarantine. During the quarantine, bells across the parish were to be rung seven times a day, approximately every two hours, to call the households to prayer. Once begun, the bell would be rung again every quarter hour, until the fourth bell signals an end to the hour of prayer. While the bell rings,

litanies or supplications will be chanted or recited at the direction of the Bishop. This will be performed in such a way that one group sings from the windows or the doors of their homes, and then another group sings and responds in turn.

To ensure that these prayers are carried out properly, the decree continues, a member of the clergy or someone trained in these prayers (possibly the head of the household) should also come to a window or door at the appointed times to direct the prayers and stir up enthusiasm for this devotion. To further facilitate these devotional activities, Borromeo instructed the parish clergy to be supplied with books ‘that contain certain prayers, litanies, and oration, which will be made freely available, in order that he may go and distribute them to his own or other parishes’.

… Borromeo’s directive to sing at doors and windows was evidently put into practice and impressed a number of chroniclers. In his Relatione verissima, Paolo Bisciola reports:

[W]hen the plague began to grow, this practice [of singing the litanies in public] was interrupted, so as not to allow the congregations to provide it more fuel. The orations did not stop, however, because each person stood in his house at the window or door and made them from there […] Just think, in walking around Milan, one heard nothing but song, veneration of God, and supplication to the saints, such that one almost wished for these tribulations to last longer.

Advent: Healing and Hope

 "Advent’s intention is to awaken the most profound and basic emotional memory within us, namely, the memory of the God who became a child. This is a healing memory; it brings hope."

— Pope Benedict XVI

The Prophetic Archbishop Fulton Sheen

 What I see happening in our country today, he predicted a generation ago.....

“Apart from an outside supernatural assistance society goes from bad to worse until deterioration is universal. Not evolution but devolution is the law of man without God. With all of our boasted mechanical civilization a day might come when our modern towers of Babel would be as forgotten as the first, when Americans would cease to exist as a race as the Babylonians and Medes have ceased to exist, when Washington would be a contested locality like the capital of the Aztec civilization, and when the Constitution of the United States would be the hopeless search of the world’s archaeologists.” Archbishop Fulton Sheen (The Prodigal World)

Wisdom

 “Formerly, man lived in a three-dimensional universe where, from an earth he inhabited with his neighbors, he looked forth to heaven above and to hell below. Forgetting God, man’s vision has lately been reduced to a single dimension; namely, that of his own mind. Where can the soul go, now that a road block has been thrown up against every external outlet? Like a city which has had all its outer ramparts seized, man must retreat inside himself. As a body of water that is blocked turns back upon itself, collecting scum, refuse, and silt, so the modern soul (which has none of the goals or channels of the Christian) backs upon itself and in that choked condition collects all the sub-rational, instinctive, dark, unconscious sediment which would never have accumulated had there been the normal exits of normal times. Man now finds that he is locked up within himself, his own prisoner. Jailed by self, he now attempts to compensate for the loss of the three-dimensional universe of faith by analyzing his mind.”

Archbishop Fulton Sheen

The Price of a Pandemic (In an Election Year)

 

Americans are overwhelmingly soft in this day and age, and in the grand scheme of things, we have very little to complain about, so I shouldn't.  Our family has job security, a roof over our head, food on our table, and each other.  We have our health, comfort, and our faith which we are free to express (in highly modified form).  This alone puts us in the top 1% of the most privileged people on the planet.  I really shouldn't complain.  But I will.  Because there has been a cost to this pandemic (in an election year), and it's a very real cost.  As the election approaches in seven short days, I've got this growing sense of dread and uneasiness.  I fear for our country.  I fear that the divisions that have been drawn, that have deepened so profoundly in this 2020 year, will be irreconcilable after November 3rd.  It hurts my heart.  Can we heal after 2020?

Other families have lost income, jobs, loved ones.  Our family has not lost much materially.  We are still overwhelmingly blessed.   But we have lost relationships.  I  have lost relationships, my children have lost relationships.  There is no sense of community anywhere anymore.  Not with friends, not with our church family.   There are no Saturday  morning coffees with the girls.  There are no conversations after mass, gatherings for meals, faith formation in person, or even talks with the priest after mass.  We are allowed to go to church, but we are isolated while we do so. Our Catholic women's group is melting to nothing.  Little Flowers has dissipated.   I miss my church family.  I miss being around other moms.  I miss feeling like part of a community, especially in uncertain and trying times.  

I have lost friendships.  Being required to "isolate" early on meant that people chose their "germ pods", those that they were comfortable seeing in person, and I... am not in those groups.  Two friends have moved away, others have chosen to "isolate together", and I feel cut off.  My social circle had narrowed to just my work friends (thank God I have been able to work outside the house throughout all of this!) but now, work friends are moving on as well. That circle has shattered just as thoroughly as the others.  I am not handling it well.    How people have chosen to respond to the pandemic, their emotional and physical response to it, has caused fissures that were never there before.  Add to that political differences in this contentious year, and there are just too many differences to overcome.  Before 2020, our commonalities far outweighed our differences.  This year, our differences are all anyone can see.  Everyone is a judge now.  Everyone seems to have the right to deem whether others are "doing it right" in the decisions they are making in response to the pandemic, and the response to what is happening in our country.  Hunker down at home?  Pull kids from school?  Send kids to school?  Let them trick or treat on Halloween?  Carry on as normal as possible, or quarantine for safety? From what political perspective do you view what is going on in our country at the moment?  What movie are you watching, the blue one or the red one?  Are YOU on the "right side of history?"  

The price our children have paid is even greater.  They have paid with their future.  Their education was deemed "non-essential".  The switch to online learning caused many children, mine included, to sink into a hole they are just now trying to dig out of.  The future that my children always envisioned for themselves is having to be revamped because of this.  If my son is flunking a class because virtual learning is not a mode in which he can learn, that makes college out of reach, which makes his career goals out of reach. A child who was an A-B student before virtual learning, who is now flunking solely because of virtual learning... that makes me angry.   We have had long discussions about a "Plan B"... because he is not capable of staring at a computer screen for 8 hours and ingesting information.  This is not right.  We've asked for help, and been told the answer is to not shoot for college, to accept failing, rather than to provide learning in a way that he can learn.  A smart, capable kid, drowning in online assignments and "self-directed" learning.  My blood boils as much as my heart hurts for him.  

I see the special needs students that I work with, and see how the shut down has hurt them.  Many are in danger of losses that they will be unable to recover from, without the structure that school provides.  I saw the regression of these kids who were out of school for six months - I now have to recommend surgery for some whose deficits are too much for us to recover through other means.  Our structures to support families with special needs children just dissipated during the shut down, and I could do nothing but watch through telehealth.  It was terrible.  

There has been a physical cost to this pandemic.  There has been a financial cost to this pandemic.  Even more, though, there has been a spiritual and emotional cost, a cost in the very relationships that have held us afloat on a daily basis.  I see what is happening as a microcosm in my world, and know that it is happening on a vast scale nationwide.  

Lord, bless this country.  Forgive us our selfishness, pride, and hubris.  Forgive us our sins as a nation, for the innocent that cry out to you in anguish.  Help us to approach the future with humility, so that we might heal.  As individuals, as community, as a nation.  In your Son's holy name we pray. 

Amen.

On the Upcoming Election....

 Four years ago, I made my vote while holding my nose.  I felt like my choices were between bad and worse, and I made my own decision with many reservations, and without much hope.  I didn't know if this business man would do what he said he would do.  I didn't know if I could TRUST him to represent me and my values.

It's been another four years, and time to head to the polls once again (or to the mailbox, as the case may be in these Covid-ridden times).  This time around, I don't even have to think about.  I don't have to hold my nose (well, maybe a little).  Because I have seen what has happened over the past four years, and it makes my decision far easier than back then. 

I still think he's a big-mouth, and brash, and a narcissist.  I wish the guy would stay off of Twitter, but I understand why he does it.  He looks for a fight... all the time... but at the same time, why wouldn't he?  If he was nice and polite (like the Bushes were), they'd still try to destroy him, so he might as well fight back.  Yes, it's caused a lot of screaming and angst, and "can you believe what he SAID?"  It's caused a lot of people to loathe this man inhabiting our White House, with feelings of indescribable hate.  I keep hearing from the left that "he lied" to the American public.  And I want to say back "NO.  He didn't.  He did what he said he would do, while you all were screaming at the top of your lungs about the stupid stuff he says".  

I admit, I rarely listen to the man.  His persona (and I do believe it's a persona.  He is a reality TV star, and this over-the-top persona doesn't match the interviews he gave before all of this) is not pleasant to listen to.  But I don't have to.  Because I am voting for what he DOES, and not what he SAYS.  I am voting for the changes he is enacting, and not the individual human being that he is.  I admire his fight.  He is not afraid, and they have heaped attack after attack on him, and vilified him night and day for four years.  He's a boxer, a fighter by trade, really.  He thrives on the fight, and I hate confrontation.  It doesn't matter.   I see how the public is being manipulated, see how the media is spinning things, because quite honestly, it's all they've GOT right now.  Manipulation, crisis, fear, and self-loathing. In the absence of any real political power, they are creating mayhem, and it's all a ploy to get political power back.  So....this time, I am voting for a record of things accomplished, not just a person, and they are things I can throw my support behind 100%.  I don't care anymore that he's not "presidential".  Obama was presidential, and where did that get us? 

THESE are the reasons that the current administration gets my vote this time, without hesitation:

• Thus far, Trump has installed two (soon to be three, most likely) Supreme Court justices and 205  judges overall to the federal bench — all for lifetime appointments. Even if Trump is not reelected in 2020, his presidency will continue to have an impact on the direction of the US due to the sheer number of conservative federal judges he’s installed.  This, above all, made my 2016 vote worthwhile.
• The Tax Cuts and Jobs Act. The law was the biggest overhaul to the nation’s tax code in three decades, permanently slashing the corporate tax rate to 21% from 35% while also providing temporary benefits for individuals and their families.  This helped our economy to boom, and led to record-breaking growth prior to the COVID pandemic.  If we want this nation to get back to economic prosperity for its citizens, we need this man at them helm.
• The greatest increase in manufacturing jobs in the history of the US, and the lowest unemployment rate in 49 years, especially among African Americans and women.
• The First Step Act passed into law in December 2018, marking the first legislative victory in years for advocates seeking to reform the criminal justice system. The bill also aims to lower recidivism by offering more rehabilitation and job-training opportunities, and it includes provisions intended to treat prisoners humanely — banning the shackling of pregnant inmates, halting the use of solitary confinement for most juvenile inmates, and mandating that prisoners be placed in facilities within 500 miles from their families.
• The defeat of the ISIS caliphate.  The reduced threat from North Korea and Iran.  The leaders of our enemies know this man is not afraid to use force if necessary, and they haven't pushed the envelope during his Presidency.
• Trump finalized the Protect Life Rule, cutting Planned Parenthood’s federal funding by $60 million.
• He reinstated the Mexico City Policy that ends federal funding of overseas abortions. The Protecting Life in Global Health Assistance program safeguards more than $8.8 BILLION in overseas aid from being used for abortions.
• Signed a bill that allowed states to defund Planned Parenthood of Title X (family planning) funding, reversing an Obama attempt to force states to fund abortion providers.
• Defunded the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) which supported China’s population control program (which includes forced abortions).
•  Cut HHS funding for fetal tissue research
• Decreased the cost of FDA approved generic drugs
• Brokered middle-east peace deals between Israel and other mid-east countries such as Bahrain and the UAE.  

There is more.  A lot more.  But for brevity's sake, I'll stop there.  

And he is running against a man who has been around for 48 years contributing to the "swamp" of DC politics, with a vice presidential candidate whose aim is socialism, and was rated by the independent govtrack.us as the most liberal of all the Senators.  I've seen many people recently say "what's so bad with socialism?"  The idea of "helping" everyone with handouts seems appealing.  By DEFINITION, though, socialism is "(in Marxist theory) a transitional social state between the overthrow of capitalism and the realization of Communism.".  It is further defined as "a political and economic theory of social organization which advocates that the means of production, distribution, and exchange should be owned or regulated by the community as a whole."  How does the "community as a whole" own the means of production?  By the government running it, that's how.  Socialism takes away the individual rights and responsibilities of private ownership, the economic system on which our nation was founded.  

I see the media pitting Americans against Americans, spewing American self-loathing as a campaign strategy  ('we were never great to begin with!')('America is racist'!).  They are fomenting unrest, fomenting a civil war, and it is part of the playbook, make no mistake about it.  This is how governments get overthrown from within.  America is under attack, with the ultimate goal of changing the very structure of our democratic republic.  I can see it so plainly; in every riot, every defunded police department, every twist of words, every cancelled social media post that doesn't fit the narrative, every illogical and repressive executive order that comes out of Lansing without input from the legislature.  

So yes, I'm voting FOR his strong pro-life stance with actions to back up his words, his handling of the economy - which is good for ALL Americans- and his appointments to the federal bench and Supreme court. Top 3.  I am also voting AGAINST socialism in all its coercive forms.  I am voting against a culture of death.  I am voting against the lunacy of destroying statues and businesses and cities without repercussion.  I am voting against the closure of businesses and livelihoods in fear of an unseen virus. I am voting against identity politics, and the "woke" mentality that glorifies and encourages victimhood.   I am voting for decency, logic, reason, national prosperity, and for common sense.  I don't see that anymore on the other side of the coin.  America is a GOOD country, founded on honorable principles.  NO.  We are not perfect, but I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.   Our country needs us now more than ever.  We, the silent majority, the American people, the ultimate "check and balance" of our Republic - time for us to speak.

This year, I'm not torn at all.  I know what I have to do.

Quote Of The Day: St. Ignatius of Antioch

 From the martyr (108-140AD) and Apostolic father who studied under John the Apostle, whose words inspire courage even today, 2000 years later.

Just beg for me the courage and endurance not only to speak but also to will what is right, so that I may not only be called a Christian, but prove to be one. For if I prove myself to be a Christian by martyrdom, then people will call me one, and my loyalty to Christ will be apparent when the world sees me no more. Nothing you can see is truly good. For our Lord Jesus Christ, now that he has returned to his Father, has revealed himself more clearly. Our task is not one of producing persuasive propaganda; Christianity shows its greatness when it is hated by the world."

So, What's the End Game?

I've been complaining for years that America is getting increasingly mad and topsy-turvy.; that it has lost its moral compass, it's common identity, it's unifying values.  The loss of a Christian ethos in America - even among the plurality of religions that comes with religious freedom - is devastating this nation.  It used to be that the Judeo-Christian ethos was so pervasive, ran so deep into our roots, that even those who didn't go to church held the same moral code, believed similarly what was right vs what was wrong.  It seeped into all of us by osmosis, and defined how we acted as a country.   We as a nation were largely "watching the same movie", so to speak, about American ingenuity, elbow grease, baseball, and apple pie.  Land of opportunity and justice. We interpreted reality in the same way.  With the advent of the internet, and destructive policies, and the corrosive onslaught of intellectual elitism, this is changing... has changed.  And now, enter 2020.  We've reached a boiling point it seems.

The pandemic has touched every.single.person. in this nation, in some way.  No one is immune to it's scope.  So those who may not have taken the time or effort to engage in politics when it was merely an intellectual exercise suddenly have an opinion.  A DEFINITE opinion.  It used to be that what happened in a distant legislature largely didn't effect the person at a cellular level in an individual household.  Yes, taxes might go up or down, but the day to day stuff didn't necessarily change much... go to work, take the kids to soccer, put food on the table.  The American way of life - despite rhetoric - kept on largely the same despite who was in political power.  The pandemic, or more accurately, the RESPONSE to the pandemic, has made the decisions in far off places become REAL.   They effect me and mine, in very CONCRETE, LIFE-ALTERING WAYS.  As such, there are no more unengaged people in this country.  There are no more squishy, apathetic people.  We all have an OPINION about this, because it has caused major disruptions in the life of every single human being in the nation.

And now, on top of this anxious and unsettling scenario, we have the specter of race riots, of looting, of violence, tearing our cities up, polarizing people even more.  The charge of "racism" is being bandied about like mosquito spray.  It's supposed to be the end-all-be-all of slurs.  You're RACIST.  America is RACIST.  Wallow in THAT.  Self-loathe yourself for THAT, America.

Someone on Facebook posted a meme that basically implied that violence was necessary to "make a change" on the issue of race.  This is a well-meaning friend who has an African American granddaughter.  I get why she is passionate about ending racism.  She wants a world that treats her granddaughter with the dignity and respect that every human deserves.  I'm not here to debate on to the extent that is or is not the world we currently live in.   I do not see racism around me, but I am a middle-aged white woman in a rural part of the country, and am not qualified to speak of such things.  I don't know what goes on in other places where I am not.   I do know, however, that LEGALIZED racism no longer exists.  It is no longer LEGAL to provide a "separate but equal" education.  It is no longer LEGAL to deny someone the opportunity to work based on their skin color (in fact, it's now just the opposite, if you look at affirmative action).  It is no longer LEGAL to force some groups to the back of the bus, or use a different water fountain, or deny service in your restaurant, based on the color of their skin.  The Civil Rights movement of the 1950s and 1960s eradicated legalized racism in this country.  And that movement, those people fighting for these changes back then, did their work peacefully.  Dr. Martin Luther King insisted on the moral high-ground, used Gahndi and JESUS as role models.  As he so famously said:  

 “Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” 

That was the mind-set back when Dr. King was in charge of things.  I have no idea who is "in charge" of Black Lives Matter, but this is definitively NOT the guiding principle now.  There is shouting, and intimidating, and rioting, and looting, and anger, and legitimate HATE being spewed.  Not by the people RESISTING change, but by those SEEKING change!  Back then, the violence came from those who did not want equality, who did not tolerate the disruption of the status quo.  Now, the violence comes first, and is being used as a purported INSTRUMENT to cause a change.  

So that got me thinking.  What is the end game?  What do these people hope to accomplish?  They say they want the end of racism.  OK.  But what does that concretely look like, in a very real sense?  During the Civil Rights movement, there was the impetus to eradicate legalized racism in this country, and that goal was definitively achieved.  NOW, the "systemic, implicit" racism that is so vilified... that's in hearts and minds.  That's intrinsic to people, not extrinsic.  Do you change hearts and minds through shouting?  Demanding?  Destroying livlihoods and cities?  By making people feel unsafe?  By defunding police???  THROUGH VIOLENCE?  In what world does violence convert a human soul?????  And where does it all end?  When is the goal met?  By what standard is all this violence going to STOP?  It makes not one iota of logical sense to any rational person.  It is an expression of anger, an emotion.  It is not solutions-based.  It is a tantrum of a two-year old.  And it changes NOTHING.  It makes it all WORSE.  

Satan is working over-time these days, trying to make us fear one another, trying to make us hate one another.  We are being manipulated as a nation, make no mistake about that.  We are being whipped up and manipulated in very real, demonstrable ways.  But I see you, Satan.  The veil has been lifted.  Your seeds of unrest and hate are trying to destroy this nation, trying to cause an implosion, trying to make us self-destruct.  Because without the United States as a bastion of Judeo-Christian values to the world, as a light on a hill, it's so much easier to encase the entire world in darkness.  

I refuse to FEAR.  I refuse to HATE.  Call me any name you want.  I REFUSE.

IT.IS.FINISHED.

 Twelve years ago, I started this blog as a way to process my spiritual journey, and as a repository for all the truths I hoped to pass down to my children.  It was always my intention to turn these blog posts into a book, to be given to each child on their confirmation.  Well, two young men will be having their confirmation in the very near future, which means... the mama had to get busy!  SO, after twelve years of writing/compiling, and three months of turning it all into one book... here is the result.  I hope they read it.  If not, at least I tried!  

https://www.blurb.com/bookstore/invited/8806278/175f8922c967bb7510ea7252ea17b6bdab53b5fc

Why I'm not afraid to send my children back to school, based on SCIENCE.

"Fear is a reaction.  Courage is a decision."  Sir Winston Churchill

I did a little research this morning.  School is looming, and there is SO MUCH FEAR AND ANXIETY floating around out there, I just thought I needed to understand the risks for myself.  I love my children, I want no harm to come to them.  But the way some people talk, I am being irresponsible by letting my children return to face-to face instruction (if that's an option), and I just needed to wrap my brain around why this decision is right for our family.  This is what I found, from the American Association of Pediatrics.

https://services.aap.org/en/pages/2019-novel-coronavirus-covid-19-infections/children-and-covid-19-state-level-data-report/ 

Summarized, for those of you who won't click the link:

8.8% of all confirmed COVID cases in the US are from children.(338,000 children by July 30, 2020, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics).  The CDC reports an infection rate among children at 1.7%.  But we'll go with the higher number to err on the side of caution.  https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/coronavirus/in-depth/coronavirus-in-babies-and-children/art-20484405

Of that 8.8%,  .6% to 8% ended up hospitalized.  Doing the math, that's .000528% of all positive COVID 19 cases ending up as a child hospitalized. The vast majority (77%) of those were children with underlying health conditions like asthma, cardiovascular disease, or were immunocompromised due to chronic health issues, according to the CDC.  https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/69/wr/mm6914e4.htm 

Of ALL COVID deaths in the US,  0%- .3% ended in mortality for children.  The CDC only reports deaths for children AND adults, aged 0-24 years old, which is probably where the .3% statistic comes from.   At least 20 states have had not a single child death from COVID.  I could find absolutely no information on the interwebs for ACTUAL numbers of children who have died in the US from COVID19.   My assumption is zero, or nearly zero, for the under 18 crowd.

The incidence of severe response and mortality for children is EXTREMELY RARE.  Extremely.  Now compare that to 100% chance of lifelong consequences from lost education, social isolation, depression, anxiety, lost family wages.  Not to mention increased suicide rates, increased domestic violence rates.  https://academic.oup.com/qjmed/article/doi/10.1093/qjmed/hcaa202/5857612

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7152912/#:~:text=Covid%2D19%20pandemic.-,Increasing%20reports%20of%20domestic%20violence%20during%20the%20Covid%2D19%20pandemic,their%20shelter%20in%2Dplace%20mandate. 

These are all reputable sources (American Academy of Pediatrics, the Mayo Clinic, the CDC, etc.), not anecdotal evidence.  This is SCIENCE, which all the shrill people keep claiming is what they're relying on.  

I am not afraid for my children!  I AM terrified of the lack of structure, lack of quality education, and mental/social health consequences of online schooling, like we did in the spring.  It did not work for us AT ALL.  It was awful.  I will not do it again, and I have no reservations at all with allowing my children to return to school face to face.  

I will not feel guilty for this decision.  It is based on SCIENCE.

The Wise And Prophetic Fulton Sheen

I discovered Fulton Sheen late in the game (like, in my mid to late 40s).  I'm too young to have seen him on television.  His "Life is Worth Living" broadcast from 1952-1957.  There's not a lot I can say I'm too young for, but there IS that!  For the past several years, though,  I've been seeing his quotes hanging around the internet, and I am floored by their clarity of thought, wisdom, logic, and beauty.  The world needs more Archbishop Fulton Sheens!!!

A few examples:

I could go on all day and never get to the end of it.  It's a good rabbit hole to fall down!

Where I Stand

I've been trying to pinpoint what it is about the response to this pandemic that bothers me.  I've been trying to wrap my brain around it, and balance out what is true vs hype, to define how I want to cope with what is happening in the world.  I speak to some who are legitimately concerned about the health threat this virus presents, and I agree... there are truly dangers associated with this virus, for vulnerable populations.  I speak to others who feel it's all a "hoax" and a political ploy in an election year, and I know that there is no denying that this "crisis" is being manipulated for political gain, too.  But neither of these extremes seem to fit my view, and I feel like TRUTH lies somewhere in the "in between" as well.  Defining the edges of this pandemic reality has been a struggle.  How bad is it?  How at risk are we?  What is an appropriate response?  It's hard to get a straight answer to these questions, because too many people are too invested in biased answers. 

So, this is what I choose for myself and my family:  the pandemic is real, and has serious health consequences to some at risk populations.  I work with at risk populations in my job, and as such, I need to take precautions to protect the vulnerable.  I could never live with myself if I brought something in to the medically fragile children or elders I work with, that caused them harm.  So I take precautions, for their sake... not my own.  I wear my mask in public places and work, I sanitize frequently, and I avoid large gatherings that may be dangerous.  I am careful.

At the same time, I refuse to live in fear.  I refuse NOT to live.  I refuse to quarantine, and online school, and hide anymore.  I will avoid crowds, but I will not avoid loved ones.  I refuse to deny my children access to their friends.  For months we avoided being around Rob's parents, afraid of bringing in anything that might harm them, and you know what?  They got depressed.  In their 80's, THEY told us to forget quarantining, because for them, it was more important to see their grandkids.  There was a 100% real risk of isolation and depression, and only an unknown, remote risk of infection.  They were willing to take the risk of being in our presence, and we ended isolation. 

To shame people who want to go on living their lives as normal as possible as "selfish" is blatantly unfair.  People take the precautions and risks they feel comfortable with, based on the information they have at the time.  In our case, there was a 100% certain risk of isolation, poor educational learning, and decreased income associated with this shut down.  Conversely, the risk of contracting the virus in a rural part of the state was initially miniscule.  If I don't know of anyone with the virus, and don't see anyone with the virus, and don't trust the media outlets telling me about the virus, but I DO see the suffering of my children, both educationally and socially, and the suffering of my community members financially... THAT is what is real.  Reacting to that is not selfish, it is a response based on what my own experience is telling me.

It seems lately that fear has become a moral virtue in our society.  What bothers me most about the shut down of masses and the sacraments (which is largely over, although highly modified at the moment, but may come back if things get worse) is that - in the face of what seems like a very real diabolical attack - we Christians retreated in fear.  And Christ told us over and over to "be not afraid".  Christ conquered death.  The martyrs of the early church were not afraid of death.  They showed us that our faith was infinitely greater than a fear of death.  Yes, we take precautions, as we must to protect the vulnerable.  But I REFUSE to live in fear.  I.  REFUSE.  And I will say it.  I am TIRED of worshiping with "one hand tied behind my back" - with masks, and distance, and no singing, and no access to the Precious Blood, and Purell on the altar.  Not because it's "different".  This isn't me whining like a spoiled baby because I'm rigid, and something is altered from my habit.  It's because shutting down the church seemed to be a response made in FEAR, and I don't think fear has any part in a Christian life.  I don't envy Bishop John, and the decisions he has had to make.  I understand his decisions.  He is doing his best to responsible, and I completely understand that.  But this very much feels like a diabolical attack, this pandemic.  It is attacking not only our communities, but the very way we worship the Lord, and that bothers me a whole lot.  Because those early martyrs, who were faced with certain death if found to be Christian, did not run and hide.  They did not.  Because death did not scare them.  Christ conquered death, and they lived the fullness of faith without fear.

Maybe that's reckless.  I know we can't be reckless.  Our priests need protection, too.  Everyone is doing the best they can, but I don't have to like it.  And I certainly don't want to get USED to it.  I don't want this to be the "new normal", or the "way things are" from here on out.  I don't want the Precious Blood, the Kiss of Peace,  to be forever banished from the mass because of a FEAR OF GERMS.  We are one body in Christ.  This pandemic is trying to make us afraid of one another.  That... is diabolical.

Thank goodness for Monsignor Pope.  He wrote the following article, and it says exactly what I'm feeling.  God bless him!!



I write this from my perspective as a priest responsible for the care of souls; I do not claim to be a medical expert. My pastoral concern is that we as a nation and as a Church have succumbed to excessive fear, which bespeaks a spiritual problem. The medical concerns arising from the pandemic are not without merit, but they are not unprecedented. What is unique today is the collective paralysis brought on by this fear. I write to express my concern and to reiterate the constant biblical cry, “Do not be afraid!”

Some weeks ago, I wrote here at the Register about the crippling fear that seems to have seized the whole world, calling all to ponder that Jesus came to destroy him who holds the power of death, that is, the devil, and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death (Hebrews 2:14-15).

I cannot avoid concluding that many people indeed are “in slavery through their fear of death.” There seems to be no end in sight for the fear they feel — no solution other than a cure for COVID-19. Watching the news only exacerbates the anxiety, as the media naturally focuses on the areas where things are not going well in our fight against the virus. It has now become politicized and commercialized, because fear is recognized as one of the best ways to control people, to attract viewers, and to sell products.

What will it take to help people get their courage back? What is the endgame that public officials have in mind? Will there ever be a day when we say, “Let’s all get back to normal?” Will we always have to wear masks? Will we ever be allowed to sing, shout or cheer in public again? Will crowds ever be allowed to gather in common areas and convention centers? Will those who go about living life normally always be shamed and called selfish and irresponsible?

Let’s get into our time machine and travel back just one year. Crowds gathered freely; airports were hives of activity; planes were packed with travelers and concert halls were packed with eager listeners. Restaurants were full of diners and churches with the faithful. People shook hands and hugged, their beautiful faces uncovered for all to see. People laughed out loud, choirs sang joyfully and stadiums erupted with cheers after a score.

That was a year ago. Now so many are cowering in fear. They view every human being they encounter as a potential source of grave illness or even death: “He looks healthy, but I’d better stay far away because he may be carrying COVID-19!” Never mind a calculation of relative risks; every human contact might pose an existential threat. As a priest, I cannot imagine anything more demonic than this sort of fear. Satan wants us to fear and even detest one another. Our communion with one another is devasted by this extreme wariness.

“But Father! This is a very different virus. It’s extremely potent. We have to do this!” Again, I am neither a doctor nor a scientist. But I am a priest, and as such I think we must count the other costs. There is more to life than just not getting sick and not dying. People have lost their jobs; food production has dropped, and famine is just around the corner in some parts of the world. Routine medical care has been largely suspended. Important human events like weddings, funerals, the sacraments and enriching cultural events have been curtailed if not prohibited. Schools have closed and few have been permitted or have had the courage to reopen. There is a cost to these losses as well.

We have been through tough flu seasons before without shutting down the country. I remember in 1968 — a terrible year for many reasons — the Hong Kong Flu was raging; 100,000 Americans died from the flu that year. My grandfather was a doctor and warned us about it, but neither the country nor the world shut down. The sick were isolated; the vulnerable were given heightened protection. I remember seeing “Quarantine” signs on the doors of some of the houses in my neighborhood. If someone had the flu, the entire household was ordered to stay inside for two weeks, and that very visible sign was placed on the front door. Meanwhile, the healthy went about their work, and life continued. Yes, the death toll was high, but everyone understood that life had to go on. Years ago, there were so many dangerous illnesses to be afraid of — cholera, smallpox, tuberculosis, polio. It takes courage to live, and people of the time had that courage.

In the current pandemic, which is admittedly severe, we have quarantined the healthy along with the sick, the resilient along with the vulnerable. Crippling fear has seized so many people, and at some point, fear begins to feed on itself. We have shut down our economy, depriving many of their livelihoods and of the dignity that comes from working, from using their talents and from providing for their families.

In the Church, collectively speaking, we too have cowered and capitulated. We have not summoned people to trust and faith. We have hidden our teachings on the role of suffering in bringing forth holiness and future glory. We have not presented the theology of death and dying at a time when it is so needed.

We have limited and even denied the sacraments to the faithful, conveying the silent message that physical health is more important than spiritual health. In some dioceses, churches were locked, confessions forbidden, and Holy Communion inaccessible. Some priests who tried to supply Holy Communion to the faithful in a creative manner were criticized by liturgists and bishops. Some tried offering outdoor or “drive-in” Masses and were met with rebuke. In some cases, Mass was forbidden by local authorities, and many backed down in the face of this external pressure. While we could not recklessly disregard civil ordinances, too many of us were content to hunker down and forego public Mass. We would not utter the biblical cry, “Do not be afraid,” out of fear of being called insensitive or irresponsible.

This situation is unprecedented in our lifetime, so it is understandable that we struggled at first with what to do prudentially. But now we must reflect on all that has happened and resolve to never again allow a governor or mayor dictate whether, when or how we may give the sacraments. Even if government officials can forbid large gatherings, it does not follow that the sacraments cannot be provided at all, via other means. I never refused Holy Communion to anyone who asked me during this time; I merely gave them Holy Communion outside of public Mass. I also continued to hear confessions in the church throughout the period, grateful that my bishop never forbade it or demanded that I lock the church.

What then is to be our role as we go forward? Some universities and public schools have announced that will not reopen for normal, in-person instruction in the fall. Will we simply follow along and refuse to reopen our Catholic schools? Or will we say to our faithful that it is time to go forth into a world that has never been and will never be risk-free, balancing the needs of all against our fear of death? How long will we continue to offer public Masses in the current limited fashion? Masks hide the beauty of the human visage and the subtleties of our expressions; will we return to seeing one another smile, frown, laugh, and cry? Will we go back to shaking hands, hugging, and touching one another? Will I be able to offer Mass without retreating immediately back into the sacristy? Will parishioners be able to mingle and chat after Mass rather than running straight to their cars?

What is our end game? Prudence has its place, but my concern as a pastor and physician of souls is that we are allowing unrelenting fear to drive our response. Until we as the Church confronting the situation and “man up” as Christians should, fear will masquerade as prudence, and folks like me who question whether we’ve gone too far will be called irresponsible and even reprehensible.

For the time being, follow the recommended precautions, but ask yourself, “When will this end, and who will get to decide that?” The Church, and each one of us, has a role to play in ending the fear that this pandemic has set loose. COVID-19 can undoubtedly be a serious illness, but contracting it is far from an automatic death sentence. However, getting sick and even eventually dying is a part of living in this world. Some will call me insensitive for even mentioning this truth, but our parents, grandparents, and more distant ancestors went forth daily into a world that was far more dangerous than anything we have experienced. They lived life, accepting both its blows and its blessings. What about us today? Is God no longer with us? Are sickness and death the worst fate or is crippling fear a far more painful and dehumanizing sentence? Isn’t there more to living than just not dying or not getting sick? Will we as a Church be part of this conversation or will we remain fearfully silent? Will we simply reflect the beliefs and opinions of the current culture, or will we influence it with a theology that insists that suffering and death have meaning and an important role in our lives?

No doubt some readers will think me imprudent, irresponsible, and insensitive. I accept that. But my take is that fear is a far more serious ailment than COVID-19. Life is risky, but there is greater ruin for us if we do not accept it and live anyway. At some point we have to break out of the huddle and run the play. God will be with us.

Freedom

The word "Freedom" is bandied about a lot, and I feel like the majority of us assume it means to be able to do whatever we want.  Freedom in Christ, however, I think it's a completely different thing.  I've had people tell me that religion is full of "rules" and "don'ts", so how can that be freedom?  How can living according to the 10 Commandments be "doing whatever I want"?  That doesn't make sense, and seems like an outright contradiction.  So why do we call following Christ a Freedom??

I keep having this image in my head of a helium balloon.  Unencumbered, that balloon rises straight up to the sky, immediately, easily.  It is free.  Sin, however, are the rocks tied to the balloon - weighing us down, separating us from the natural pull of grace (helium!) in our lives.  It keeps us from our destiny, which is being with God.  The winds of temptation can blow us off course.  But virtue keeps us from accumulating rocks.  Confession relieves us of the stones weighting us down, allows us the freedom to continue on our path. 

Such a simple analogy, but apt, I think.  Freedom is a balloon!

Quote of the Day: Chesterton on Tradition

“Tradition may be defined as an extension of the franchise. Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who merely happen to be walking about. All democrats object to men being disqualified by the accident of birth; tradition objects to their being disqualified by the accident of death. Democracy tells us not to neglect a good man’s opinion, even if he is our groom; tradition asks us not to neglect a good man’s opinion, even if he is our father. I, at any rate, cannot separate the two ideas of democracy and tradition; it seems evident to me that they are the same idea. We will have the dead at our councils. The ancient Greeks voted by stones; these shall vote by tombstones. It is all quite regular and official, for most tombstones, like most ballot papers, are marked with a cross.”x

Status Update, One Year Post Treatment: An Anniversary Getaway to Rochester

It's been a whole year since my last radioiodine treatment.  What a busy, quick year that has been!  My last follow up appointment was in October of 2019.  I was supposed to come back in February, but given that the roads in February are not great, and we had scheduled a trip to Hawaii to celebrate a certain husband's 50th birthday, we postponed that appointment til April.  Then the pandemic hit, and no one was going anywhere in April, so.... June it was.  Eight months after my last appointment, and a year post treatment.  I've never gone this long without knowing what the cancer was doing, so I had NO IDEA what to expect.  Given that it's 2020, the year of the Apocalypse, I half prepared myself for bad news.  Didn't stress over it, just began trying to figure out when we could fit in another round of radioiodine and it's accompanying time off work.  As it turns out though, I didn't NEED to think about that!  (Foreshadowing of Good News.  Yes.  Even in 2020!)

Rob and I hit the road for Rochester, and were planning on making it our 22nd Anniversary getaway.  Quarantine has lifted enough that the kids could stay with friends, and hotels were open (although no breakfasts included.  BOO!).  We were hoping to go out to a nice, romantic dinner, but in Minnesota, restaurants weren't yet open to Dine-In, so we got Mexican food to go and ate it in our hotel room.  Not so romantic, but whatever.  We even tried to do a little shopping, as I had gotten a gift card for being an "essential worker" during all of this pandemic stuff, and I was itching to spend it.  Pier One and TJ Maxx were open, but woefully empty, with bare shelves everywhere. Apparently, TJ Maxx had been open since June 1st, but hadn't gotten a truck with new inventory in 3 months.  I had money, but very little to spend it on, which was a bummer.  Stores required masks, six feet distancing, hand sanitzer at every entrance, and sterilized carts.  Dressing rooms were closed.   Not the funnest shopping experience, but better than Walmart, which is the only option we have at home.

The Mayo Clinic also required temperature checks, masks, six feet distancing.  When we went into Dr. Stan's office, there was a pillow on the bench between his desk and I, so that I had to sit at least six feet away from him.  Rob was stuck on a bench in the corner.  Just interesting how life is run these days.

Bottom line, though, was GOOD NEWS!  My tumor marker thyroglobulin went from 2.0 to 1.9, which is in the downward direction (even if only a little), and the LOWEST it has EVER BEEN!!  WOOT WOOT!  The ultrasound showed no new growths, and the spots we knew about had behaved themselves and stayed essentially the same size.  So, it looks like treatment last year may not have cured my cancer, but at least stopped it dead in it's tracks, which is AWESOME NEWS.  Fabulous.  Great news at a time when great news is hard to find.  SO HAPPY.

That's where we're at, and I have a feeling the second half of 2020 is going to be quite a bit more pleasant than the first half.  Let's have an all new New Year's Eve on June 30th, and start this whole thing over, shall we???