For The Record

The family and I went camping this weekend... the first time in years.  It was not planned, it just happened at the last minute.  The weather was gorgeous, the water was gorgeous, and after much complaining by the teenaged set on the way there - we had a fabulous time.  Just tons of happy family memories, and it was awesome.  No devices.  No tv.  We spent a glorious day and evening enjoying each other's company and the beauty of God's good earth.  I couldn't help myself, I had to take pictures.

The rest of the family got irritated by this.
"Mom!  Stop taking pictures and just enjoy the moment!"
"You're going to put this all on your 'quirky blog'."
The ribbing started edging towards mockery, and my feelings were getting hurt.

Do you know WHY I take so many pictures, family????
They guessed that it was to show the world what we're up to. To brag about a happy family. To present an image to the world.   NO. NO. NO.  Their answers made my heart hurt.

I will tell you why I take so many pictures, why I blog.

Dementia runs in my family.  My poor grandfather couldn't remember anything, and kept a pencil and notepad on him at all times to remember people's names, important things that happened to him.

My own father's memory is starting to fail.  I see it and it scares me.

I know I will be the same way.  I know it, because I feel it already.  And I don't want to forget.  I don't want to forget this beautiful, blessed life I've been granted, and I don't want to forget the happy memories.  I want to remember my family as it is RIGHT NOW.  So I document it.  It's my external memory, because I fear my internal memory will fail me.  It already has.

So I capture it as much as I can.  So I don't forget.  If I take a picture of it, if I write about it, if I video tape it.... it doesn't disappear.  Time is so fleeting, and I feel it passing so quickly.  So much of my own childhood has disappated and is gone forever.  I'm trying to grab on to it, one photo at a time.  To freeze these moments that mean so much to me.

So be patient with your sentimental mom, and smile for the paparazzi, dang it.