Tomorrow, I get the news as to whether treatment worked or not. I'm actually excited about this appointment, because I am so confident it will be GOOD news, after three years. This is not a place I've been in before on the eve of a big appointment. Typically, I'm scanning the research, mentally preparing myself for a blow, steeling myself for the inevitable bad news (or at least "meh" news). This time, I am fully prepared to celebrate. Stay tuned.
If I DO get to celebrate, I've been thinking about the toll this stupid, annoying cancer has taken. The final score, so to speak. Cancer has taken my thyroid, one vocal cord, one parotid gland, and two ovaries. Given that I have a second vocal cord, another parotid gland, and the ovaries were gonna go eventually anyways, I feel like that's pretty cheap. A side effect of losing my metabolism regulating organ at the same time as my ovaries has caused significant weight gain, and I hate that. I do not feel like myself at all in that regard. Score another one for big C. Cancer has cost me thousands of dollars, months and months of time off work, and been a holy pain for three years. It has, in all honestly, cost me some relationships, as I have not been able to go out west to maintain those relationships due to the time off treatment has required. That is something I regret more than anything. But we will earn more dollars. I will regain PTO. I will try to lose weight if I can. And the three years of my life have been a learning experience, a time to grow stronger, and experience innumerable graces. Overall, I have been abundantly blessed.
I'm so ready to say goodbye to this chapter of my life. Cancer has scored some points, but in the end, I WIN. Not because of anything I did, because of the kindness of a good and gracious Father, who allowed me an experience to challenge me, but not break me.
Final buzzer tomorrow. Let the countdown begin!!!
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