Family

I went for a long walk with my neighbor Beth the other day. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, and it was so good to just get out in the fresh air and talk about "Mom things" with another woman! The conversation turned to family (of course... a mom's favorite topic) and Luke 20:34. We were pondering whether we would see our families in Heaven -- still be married to our spouses, have our children gathered about us as we do here on earth. And Jesus' answer, of course, in response to the Sadduccees who asked a very similar question, was this... "The children of this age marry and remarry; but those who are deemed worthy to attain to the coming age and to the resurrection of the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage. They can no longer die, for they are like angels; and they are the children of God because they are the ones who will rise.” At first that seems hard to take. If there's a Paradise, then those I love most in the world should be with me! But as we talked on, it became clear to us that it's not that we won't SEE or BE WITH our earthly families up in heaven. It's the construct of the family that won't be there. There will be no marriage, because there won't be need for marriage there. Marriage and the family unit was created by God in order to teach us about HIM and his relationship with us, during our sojourn here on earth.

The answer is EVERYWHERE in what Jesus teaches us. “My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and act on it.” Luke 8:21

Once we become Christians, we become part of God's family. The word covenant is not interpreted as a "contract" to be signed and agreed upon, like a business dealing. God says "I will be yours and you will be mine". We become family. Family terminology is used repeatedly and almost exclusively in describing the Church and our God. "Our Father". The church is the "Bride". We become "brothers and sisters in Christ". Not just figuratively. Literally. The love we experience towards our spouse, towards our children, will be perfected towards ALL in heaven. That's an amazing thought, that we might one day have the capacity to love and be loved by that many, that intimately, that intensely.

So what is family, then? Why is it here? I believe it is to teach us, to give us a basis for understanding our relationship to God, and His love for us. We know, in our earthly existence, how a Father feels towards his children, because God gave us an innate love for our children that is undeniable and primal. We understand that when Paul exhorts "Husbands, love your wives" and "wives, honor your husband", that he is describing to us the ideal relationship between God and His bride, the church. Wives are repeatedly told to submit to their husbands, not as slaves, but in love, because God demands obedience from us and his Church in just the same way. The entire book of Song of Solomon describes the relationship of God and His people as lovers, a husband and wife. When the Bible tells us that "the two shall become one flesh" in marriage.... they become one in flesh so much that they have to give it a name! When God and his Church unite in the same way, the offspring is us... the believers. The Children of God. Literally.

Understanding marriage and family this way makes me realize how "short" I come to the ideal. My role as a wife, as a mother, needs to reflect the love I have for our Creator, and I admit that I am woefully inadequate to this task. But it gives me something to strive for. It makes me realize that my marriage and family is holy. It is not just a legal agreement, but an integral part of my relationship to Christ. It needs to be nutured and grown in love. It is infused with God's blessing, because it is His Creation. It is sacramental.