Being God's Hands - written when the boys were young

BEING GOD’S HANDS

As some of you might know, I am the new mother of identical twin boys. The experience has been life-changing to say the least. I have always known that I wanted to be a mom, but wasn’t always sure that it was what God had in store for me. Nothing I imagined about motherhood could’ve prepared me for the utter joy I have experienced through my children. This joy has come as somewhat of a shock – I never expected to be a participant in such perfect love. I remember my husband lying with both boys on the floor not too long ago and asking “is it possible that our parents feel this much love for US??” He was incredulous that anyone could love him as much as he loved his boys. That kind of love is humbling. The most surprising thing to me about being a mother, though, is how I am gaining a new understanding of God. I am beginning to glimpse the immensity of love God must have for us. For me. And it makes me feel a certain kinship with Him that quite honestly wasn’t understood before. It has very much been an “AHA” experience for me. I’m just starting to “get it”.

As babies, my children can give me nothing back – at first not even a smile. They simply are, and that is enough for me. I revel in the miracle of them. I wonder if they can even begin to love me as much as I love them. I thirst for their love. I wait for it. And I realize now how God must yearn for our love in return as well. For us to smile, and laugh, and be amazed by His world, and recognize His face above all others, just as I want so much for my boys to know that I am their mother, and not just another miscellaneous admirer. Jesus said “love one another as I have loved you.” I am beginning to understand what a tall order that is! The love that Jesus has for us is intense and overwhelming, and complete to the point of giving His life for me. And that’s what I need to feel for EVERYONE I meet?

Before they were born, my husband and I were told to expect “double trouble”. “You’re having twins?? Glad it’s you and not me!” “Get your sleep in now!” “Enjoy bed rest while it lasts!” “You won’t have another quiet moment for 18 years.” We heard it all, and feared for the worst. Newborn twins were going to be WORK. And lots of it. Something strange happened after they were born, though. I suddenly had very little need for sleep – didn’t WANT to sleep if my boys were awake and hungry in the middle of the night. I had a sudden LACK of aversion to poop and drool. The sound of a crying baby… TWO crying babies… was no longer irritating, but irresistibly cute and worthy of videotaping. And vomit – all over the furniture, on their 13th change of clothes, in my hair – was not disgusting at all. Preparing 20 bottles, sitting at the breast pump 4 times a day, 6 loads of laundry, changing crib sheets, being peed on… none of that was WORK. Apparently it meets the definition of the word, or so I’ve been told, but it didn’t feel like work. I love them, and I’m meeting their needs because I love them. I came home the other day, and my husband announced “I’ve come full circle. The babies couldn’t breathe so I picked their noses. I never thought I would pick another human being’s nose.” He was meeting a need, and surprised himself when he met that need automatically before realizing how disgusting he previously thought it was!

The babies never thank us. There is definitely NOT a glamorous recognition ceremony attached to parenthood. I don’t even give myself a pat on the back after it’s done, thinking what a good person I am. I simply love them and am meeting a need. It is automatic. It occurs to me that that’s the attitude God would like for us to take as we go about His work here on earth. As we love one another as He has loved us… the same love a parent feels for a child, but a zillion magnitudes larger…. we must address the needs we see. Whether in Nicaragua or in Houghton, Michigan; in our homes or outside our homes; we are God’s hands here on earth. We can be the earthly expression of His love to others. And we as Christians should do it without need for thanks or recognition or fanfare. We don’t need a pat on the back, even from ourselves. We do God’s work without thinking, because we are loving others as He loves us.

They say that love is blind. I think that love makes us blind to ourselves. It replaces our selfish nature with something bigger than ourselves and changes how we look at the world.

The greatest commandment (Matthew 22:37) “He said to them ‘You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”

Luke 6:27 “But to you who hear I say, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. To the person who strikes you on one check, offer the other one as well, and from the person who takes your cloak, do not withhold even your tunic. Give to everyone who asks of you, and from the one who takes what is yours do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

Luke 7: 43 “A good tree does not bear rotten fruit, nor does a rotten tree bear good fruit. For every tree is known by its own fruit…. A good person out of the store of goodness in his heart produces good, but an evil person out of a store of evil produces evil; for from the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks.”